As you may have noticed, I have changed the name of my blog from Miss Malika to Becoming Malika. This is basically a journey I am on. A journey of becoming who I am. Becoming the person I had always wished to be. Becoming fulfilled, happy, grateful ,having an amazing life and living life on my terms.
The months of August and September 2019 have been life changing for me. In a profound way, my life has been better. I have been on a journey of healing.
For growth to happen, I had to self reflect,analyse and heal parts of me that were causing me not to live freely.
I have always wanted to get to know myself beyond what I have been socialized to know about myself. Beyond what I have been told I am. Beyond what society and its relatives had decided that I should be. Beyond boxes that had been placed for me in order to limit me.
I wanted to know why I do the things I do.Why I keep on repeating the same mistakes. Why I keep on attracting toxic people in my life. Why I self sabotage. Why I never feel fulfilled even though everyone around me feels that I am living the good life. Why I hide my pain, suffer low self esteem, martyrdom,and mental slavery. Why I put on various masks.
When I consciously made a decision that I want to unravel the mysteries and history behind why I do the things I do, why I do not feel fulfilled, the universe led me to life coaching. It is here that I got the answers I had been yearning for. Here, I felt like I belonged. Like I mattered. I discovered myself. I became more self aware and learnt to be well grounded.
Now, I realised that my whys’ had names. The names were self loathing, martyrdom, poor boundaries, low self esteem,headfukery,lack of self love ,self sabotage,mental slavery and so much more.
I went through a very uncomfortable stage in my life where I had to undress all my wounds, find out what caused those wounds, clean the wounds, allow myself to feel the pain ,dress the wounds again and begin the process of healing.
I had to reparent myself,take responsibility for the state my life was in, accept healing and start a new journey.
I have made strides towards becoming a better version of me. I am free from pain. I continue to heal from various traumas. These traumas will never hold me back. I feel alive,fulfilled and excited to face each new day. I am excited to see how strong I am and how high I can fly. Onwards and upwards I go.
This is my journey to becoming.
I have not arrived.
Everyday presents an opportunity for me to grow and learn. I strive to be better, do better and live a purposeful life.
To live my life on my terms. A life I have always wanted to live. Own my narrative.Be the boss of my life. Define success on my terms. Take 100%responsibility over my life and the state it is in.
I hope to share my journey of healing and growth together with lessons I learn along the way.
Here is to an amazing life. Cheers to Becoming.
Sending light and love your way.