Life is much easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got. The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. Remember when you forgive you heal, when you let go, you grow.

I realise that when you haven’t forgiven those who’ve hurt you, you turn back against your future. When you forgive, you start moving forward. I forgive  because I am strong enough to understand that people make mistakes.

It is at this point that I finally decide to put back everything that has been holding me back. Years back, I had not discovered myself they way I have now. I am now more self aware. I let other people determine who I was. I let people ideas, thoughts and prejudices influence my thoughts,feelings,choices and self worth. I felt that my ability to have many friends made me happier. Little did I know, that some of  these interactions and relationships were taking me away from myself, depriving me of true happiness. I was not able to be my authentic self and be proud of who I was because I realise I was trying to be someone I was not.

So today, I decide to forgive the guy who told me that I would never get married if I continued to study. My life is not tied to anyone who will be afraid of my success. A man who is afraid of my success is the man I do not want in my life. I deserve every good thing that comes to me as a result of my hard work. To think that I believed this guy and wanted to slow down my succeeds to match those who clearly do not have ambition was an insult to myself and the talents that I am gifted with.

I forgive the teacher who once told me that I could not be a journalist. According to her, I wasn’t good looking. My self esteem spiraled downwards and so did my self worth. You were wrong. I am beautifully and wonderfully made. And guess what, I have a background in Journalism and Public Relations. I went for that course you thought I wasn’t suited for and i was accepted. I Graduated . I feel beautiful every day. I cannot wish to be someone else.

I forgive the ex boyfriend  who told me I was fat. That I should work on myself. That my stomach wasn’t as cute and my body should resemble so and so. I realise that people who body shame other people are people who have issues with their own body hence will want to hurt others so that they feel better about themselves. Hurt people hurt people. I  am the only one who gets to decide how I look like. Anyone who makes me have a low self esteem has no place in my life. I forgive myself for actually listening to you and feeling bad about myself. People you allow in your life could be the very people who will lead you to the path of destruction.

I forgive you friend of mine who felt that I will not be successful in life because I did not excel in class as much as you did. Well, I do not look at myself as a failure. I realise that everything I passed through back then has led me to where I am now. I am grateful for my failures and successes. I am no longer afraid of failure. I know that through failure I learn something . It has been a learning experience for me. By the way, better grades in class will not make you succeed in life or make you financially free. I am sure you realise that now. Welcome to reality.

To the guy who thought that lying to me would destroy me. I was never the problem here. I forgive myself for even believing in those lies you told. I actually ended up loving the image you put up there for me to see and not the real you.

I forgive any friend who left me. My destiny is not tied to anyone who leaves. I shall not place my happiness on anyone. Be it a friend,family or career. My happiness solely lies on me. I will be happy regardless of the situation. I forgive myself for feeling that I was not worthy of your friendship. I am no longer afraid of people leaving my life. I am also not afraid of leaving when someone no longer appeals to me. I actually understand when people leave.I finally understand that it has not always been about me. It is okay for people to leave. This is just life.

I am sorry for not believing in myself. For thinking that I would be happier, cooler, more liked if i would be just like Miss x. I will strive to be the best version of myself. I will live my life being me. Anyone who does not like me for me does not deserve to be in my life. I am worthy. I will live to be my authentic self.

I forgive myself for putting other peoples interests ahead of mine. I thought that this selfless act would make me lovable and make people like me. I no longer put other peoples selfish interests ahead of mine. I will not kill myself to make anyone happy. I will  not be anyone’s sacrificial lamb.

I forgive me for beating myself up when things did not work out my way. I let go, and let God. I now know that everything will work out according to God’s plan. Where I do my best, I let Jesus do the rest. I know it is okay to experience failure sometimes. This is the only way that I will learn to be grateful for greater things to come.

For these and many others not mentioned here. I choose forgive myself and anyone who I thought  I should forgive. I take back my power. I set myself free. I feel free. I am free.

5 thoughts on “I FORGIVE MYSELF AND YOU

Comments are closed.