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15 Questions

I couldn’t bring myself to write something today. My creative energy went home. I am also nursing muscle crump’s from today’s morning jog or maybe from yesterday’s full body workout. I kind of like the pain. It feels like I could get addicted to work out pain. Even with the restlessness, I know I’ll be back with more work outs tomorrow.
So to get myself back in the mood of writing, I’ll answer a few random questions that people rarely ask about.

I love questions. I am curious by nature. Random questions can build a friendship, place someone in a bro zone or sister zone or cause one to get ghosted. People speak from the abundance of their hearts. What fun way to get to know their hearts through questions posed in a easy environment.

  1. What’s one thing that you own that you should probably get rid off but just can’t?
    Shoes. I was a hoarder of shoes. My mum calls me Elizabeth Marcos because of the many pairs of shoes I have at home. Shoes I never wear. Will not wear. I have a couple of worn out flat shoes and cute heels that no longer fit. I should get rid of them. I know. Except,in some way,I am hoping I will get a soul to the worn out shoes. Or will be creative and artistic to create something cool out of the worn out shoes. As for the heels, they act as accessories to my tiny shoe rack. If I got rid of them,then I risk having a shoe rack full of black loafers,sneakers and ugly flat shoes.
  2. How many oceans have you swam in?
    Just one. The Indian Ocean. Wait. The Magnificent Indian Ocean. Bara Hindi. Why is it called the Indian Ocean though?
    I always have different experiences whenever I visit the coast. My most memorable one being snorkeling at Kisite Mpunguti island. It is a one in a lifetime experience. Swimming with dolphins. Getting a view of the sea bed and basking in the middle of a beach that’s in the deep sea. I realised that I get traumatised when I get under water. I am very comfortable on top. Not under. It terrifies me. Makes me feel like I am not in control. I like being in control. And being alive too.
  3. What was your favourite T.V show when you were young?
    ¶Tausi ndege wangu,ndege wangu wa bahari,…… I loved Tausi. I looked forward to watching it . My favourite characters were Lindi, Master sugu and a Mganga Kalumanzira. Now, can you guess my age?
  4. What language besides your native language would you like to be fluent in?
    I would love to be fluent in my native language first. My mother tongue. I would love to know and understand Luhya idioms,and the language in totality. Then I would go for French and Spanish. I know a little bit of French from a course I took in my third year in campus and through the Duo lingo app. I know nothing about Spanish though. Je m’apelle Marion. Comment Tu appeles? Ca va? Okay bye.
  5. Favourite place you visited?
    Kilasiya falls in Marangu Tanzania. My soul yearns to be in Kilasiya. I will definitely go back there. The air is so fresh, you feel like it’s energy is cleansing up your system. You feel like you are being healed. Your lungs feel fresh. Your mind rested and rejuvenated. The nature is healing. To get to the falls,one has to have some endurance. Enduring the stones,allowing the guides to show you the best path until you get to the bottom of the fall. Like a mother’s Bossom. Warm and comfortable. You see rainbows formed against the water crystals and sun rays. The water hitting the ground with a thud, falling and sputtering. Hitting stones,trees and flowing through the river. You hear the sound of water. You feel your feet on the stones. Your gaze on vegetation,the fall and the rays of the sun. Breath of fresh air. Perfect Feng Shui experience.
  6. What’s your favourite thing about being single?
    That I get to work on myself. Healing, learning and unlearning happens in this phase of life. Heal so that I don’t carry my traumas to my next relationship and also because I need to live free from trauma. Live ,occupy space ,enjoy life and follow my purpose. I can’t follow my purpose if I live in fear and with traumas. It is amazing and fulfilling. To know that you are enough on your own. To love yourself until it hurts,to set boundaries ,set standards by treating yourself right. Enjoy the solitude that comes with it. I also love that I get to stay naked indoors.
  7. How old were you when you learned to ride a bike?
    I never learnt. It’s one of those things I wish I did as a kid. I would love to learn. To have a teacher that’s patient because I fear bruises. Sometimes I picture myself with a smoky eye, wearing a black leather jacket,white v neck t-shirt that holds my abs(I don’t have abs but let’s pretend),black pencil jeans with a shiny black belt, black knee high leather boots , black rectangular sun glasses and a retro hat standing beside my black sleek electric motor cycle. Looking all bad ass. But I can’t ride a bike. Or balance in one.
  8. Worst pick up line?
    Some young man stopped me in the midst of my jog and all he said was, Alafu?(and then?)
    Is that a greeting even? This should be added to the list of red flags.
  9. Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
    Sure. Do you hunnie. Wear whatever colour that brings the best out of you. I live and let live.
  10. Are you a morning or night person?
    There are evenings I have so much energy you’d think I’m possessed. I’ll do all chores,and still have energy left to write and do something else. There are mornings I wake up with this kind of energy too. Although with morning,I struggle to wake up. I’m always half asleep when the sun is in my room. I literally have to talk myself into getting out of bed by having a morning routine. Then there are evenings I only want to sleep. I get in the house, collapse in my couch and only wake up at midnight to ease myself only to realise I am not in bed.
  11. What is your astrological sign? Sagittarius
  12. Where would you bring your hidden treasure if you had one?
    In a banana plantation. I would dig a hole,place the treasure in the earth then cover it. Then I would mark it by placing a stick or by planting a tree.
  13. What is one goal you would like to accomplish this year?
    Move houses. I am ready to live in a spacious house. In a beautiful environment.
  14. What’s one thing you can’t leave the house without?
    A phone. My phone. It is a means of communication,a source of direction and information,weather predictor, source of entertainment and access to money.
  15. What’s your favourite book?
    I don’t have a favourite book. Most books I loved came at a time when I needed them. Case of the teacher appearing when a student is ready. I have so many books I loved. Most were inspiring, uplifting,informative and educative while others opened up my world to another realm I didn’t think existed. Like I get to see the world from someone else’s perspective.
    Left to tell by Immaculee left me depressed. I cried throughout. I was scared most of the time. Angry and other times with mixed emotions. A reality that there are humans and human kind. That one can rise after so many tragedies in life. That one would forgive people that murdered an entire family and still give back to the same society that took away her blood family. See. This book left me with a mark. That I remember it two years later. It scarred me.
    At peace in the light by Danion Brinkley tried to quench my curiosity about the after life. I picked up this book in the street on the day a friend had shared with me her experience with death. I was curious to know if death really is the end game for all of us or if it’s just a passage to another realm or just a means of recycling.
    The secret by Rhonda Bryne taught me to harness the Law of attraction. Then there are books like Lean in by Sheryl Sandberg, Dear Daughter by Maya Angelou, Becoming by Mitchell Obama,On becoming ,Smart money woman by Arese Ugwu, Chimamnda Ngozi’s the feminist manifesto in 15 suggestions,Who moved my cheese and many Others. Kenyan writer Joan Thatiah with Damn girl stop that, you are too Pretty to be broke, things I will tell my daughter and a letter to my son. All of which I loved.
    I am also drawn to African writers. People who write about the African heritage and history. They are the keepers of our history and responsible for informing the future generations about our culture. Ngugi Wa thiongo and Margaret Ogolla have done me proud. They say the surest way to corrupt and control a man is to take away his identity. Do you know who you are?
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Child of the Sun

C/O pexels

Born in 1927
near a hippopotamus infested river
In the land of the Abakisa
A Samia mingling with the Abakisa
Sharing land,beliefs and practices.

Waking up every morning to greet the sun
She rises together with the sun
The sun is her father
Always showing up very morning
Or sending light to the earth when he can’t show up
With his warmth and rays

African bodies get their energy from the sun
She basks in its radiance
And enjoys it’s beautiful rays as it hits green guava leaves in the homestead.
A cock crows
Birds are chirping
It is a beautiful bright morning

The sun gives her strength to plant
Warms her body
She puts her fire wood out to dry
Escorts her cattle out of the kitchen
Lets the chicken out

Her homestead is full of sweet potatoes,arrow roots,cowpeas,beansmaize plantation,Irish potatoes,tomatoes,millet and sorghum
Evidence that she works hard
She pounds millet and sorghum inorder to prepare her delicacy
Obusuma is her favourite meal

Her formal education was up to sector 3
Got baptized in the Anglican Church of Kenya
Became a Lay reader in church
The white man’s religion she began to follow
But her African divine nature still deep routed.

Preparing herbs for her children
To soothe their running stomachs
Or the cuts in their skin
Flu is gone
within 30 minutes of steaming face with herb water

The world war 2 is here
Husband is recruited for war
Not yet Uhuru in this African land
Off to the King’s African Rifles centre in Nairobi he goes
To protect his British coloniser
This war isn’t his to fight
But master needs people to fight
He makes this war his too
Years later he goes to the underworld
To be with ancestors and protect the lineage from another realm
He shall be reincarnated later

With her he leaves three sons
Alone for her to take care off
Feeling vulnerable and heartbroken
Seven planting seasons gone
Brother of her late husbanddecides to inherit her

She is again protected
She bears him 3 kids
He is a revered and respected man in the land
Nicknamed Delamere because of his big farm in Elukanji
And is the first person to own an oxen plough in the land
Along with his skill in Agriculture
He was among the first natives to train in Agriculture at the Bukura Agricultural centre
He began to plant hybrid maize

She continues to serve in church and take care of her children
She is now the third wife of his late husband’s brother
The new position comes with challenges of its own
Her determination,hard work and discipline enables her raise her 5 sons and daughter
All since her youthful days she suffered stomach aches
No one really knows what exactly ails her
But her passion for her God and hard work keep her going
Inherited husband leaves to the land yonder too
Leaving her with more burden to bear
6 children to take care of
Dad is one of them
He learns of his father’s death while in college
He doesn’t remember what ailed him
All he remembers is how healthy and strong he was
After all, he was the man that owned an oxen plough.
Many moons later
She leaves the land of the living
She had made 83 trips around the sun
With her ancestors,she is reunited

Her body is gone
But her spirit leaves on
Her energy, DNA, thoughts and words still fill up the air
Her blood line still lives on
Her lineage still lives on
Her name is carried to the next generation
She lied peacefully on her death bed
Her burial ceremony was more like a wedding ceremony
Full of white nets, daughter’s in laws,grand children and great grand children
All escorting her to the stars
Dancing to Anglican rythms
Rthyms she once led

she is now looking down upon us
She was a child of the sun
She brought sunshine wherever she went
Lit up the world with her presence
And left her footprints in this world
Like sunrise she lit up the world
And like sun set, she left the world
Paving way for darkness that engulfed her loved ones hearts.
With every sunrise, her spirit lives on.
It lives in me
And my sisters
I am her grandchild
A child of the sun.

©Marion Malika

This poem is in memory of my late paternal grandmother, Melsa Anyanzwa. May your soul continue resting in peace.

Watch over us and open ways for us.

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For my Mother Jane

Last Wednesday I received a text from my mother. It read,” please feel free and tell me about your financial status. Don’t suffer ,we can share hata Kama ni kidogo.”
This is my mum’s way of assuring me that she is always there to support me and all I need to do is ask.
I on the other hand feel like at my age, I shouldn’t be asking help from my parents. It is an ego thing.
At this age, I expected to have accomplished a lot including being financially free. So I reject politely by telling her that I am doing fine.
She then replies to my message ,” but I am here for you. You are not an orphan. My shoulder for you.” This messages touched me right here. I know you can’t see where. It touched me to the core of my heart. I was fighting tears from flowing down my cheeks. Messages like this get me. Especially in this period when everyone is all about themselves and their families. It gets hard for us who live on our own, in towns where we have no family nearby to go home to.

Mum checks up on me at least once in two days. Sometimes, more than twice in a day.
It must be a mother’s intuition. To know when a child needs extra love, support or attention.
Mother’s and children have these in common. My niece Elsie also calls me on days I really need cheering up and that brightens up my day.I don’t know how she knows it or how she remembers me given that she has seen me a couple of times. She turned three years nine days ago.

I am blessed with an amazing mum. I know it sounds cliche to say this. My mum is a wonder woman. I have no idea how she survived some unfortunate events in her life,braved them and still continues to have that zeal in life. Her childhood life story,her struggles to get where she is now shows how great of a woman she is. Her passion for her life goals is unmatched. She gets stuff done. Oh that lady gets things done. Procrastination has no space in her life.

Mum,my brother and myself.


On the day her father grew angel wings, she knelt and prayed. She prayed and prayed, then left for her mother’s house because her mother needed her. I never had a relationship with my grandfather. It was like he existed but never existed. At least for my case. I never got to share a meal,a thought ,a word or even ask him a question. Maybe it was just never meant to be. I couldn’t mourn him when he grew angel wings. I mourned because he was mum’s dad.


On the day mum lost her brother, she called me. She had earlier called to inform me that I needed to go check up on my uncle In a hospital. Only to call later that he had passed on. He too grew angel wings when we thought he had gotten better.He had been unwell for sometime. Recuperated and discharged. I spoke to uncle Moses a few days before he left us. I had assured him that he will get better. Maalambe ,is what they loved to call him. I had no words for her. For the second time in my life, words escaped me. All I could hear was her breathing from the other end of the phone. The pain in her voice obvious from her sputtering. Silence suddenly grew a voice. It’s voice louder than those crusades we endured before isolation. I managed a sorry and let her end the call.

My heart was pained. Pained that my mum was in grief and there’s nothing I could do to help her. She left for grandmas. She needed her again 💔.


On the day she had an accident, just a few kilometres from her paternal her home, we had previously had an amazing morning. We sang to Christian tunes and made fun of dad for bringing us outfits that didn’t fit us. Ungrateful much. Ha! Ha! Dad had just arrived that morning from a teachers conference. He used to bring us gifts when he came back from those seminars. She left for town and didn’t come back that day. Okambo express(the major public transport vehicle) was involved in an accident and she was a injured. Her right arm was badly damaged. Her pain both physical,emotional and mental. Our lives changed since then.

Mum,grandma,my nephew and myself.


She says that all she did was ask God to spare her life so that she could take care of her kids. Us. My four siblings and I. God answered her prayers. The keloid on her right arm is evidence that she overcame it all. At least physically. Despite the occasional itchy skin. She is fine. I think. Does anyone ever get over the trauma caused by an accident?


When her mother got an accident. She braved it too. I don’t know exactly what caused my grand mother’s accident so I will not dwell on it. Grandma Sulumena grew weak and sickly after the accident. She suffers memory lapse too.


What keeps mum going is her prayers. Waking up every night to pray for us all.


On the day I had surgery, she called and prayed with me over the phone. She couldn’t travel to be with me as it was an emergency surgery. She called every day after my surgery to pray and listen as I vent. Sometimes annoying me with questions I didn’t have answers to or questions I wasn’t ready to answer.


Her grieving process I never understood. She chooses to pray about it all. Sometimes sharing bits of information or keeping quite. I admire her resilience and enduring spirit. That she never lets a bad experience ruin her.


She went back to school in her 50’s. We shared a hostel at one time when I was in my third and fourth year in campus. Imagine sharing a hostel with your mum. Both of us pursuing our academic goals. She finally had her Degree in her 50’s something that I find so special about her. That age never stopped her from getting her degree. That her sharing a hostel with us never stopped her from accomplishing her goals. That her constant memory lapse that she suffered after the accident didn’t stop her from studying.
I enjoyed the part where she bought food at the hostel but didn’t like the part where I had to not hang out at night because mum is around. I had my best behavior during those days. Dreams are valid at whatever age one is. If you want it so bad, you go for it.

This are throw back pictures of my mother. Memories we took.
From right,My dad and brother,mum and myself, paternal grand ma, help and my sister.


Mum taught me English and CRE ( Christian Religious Education) in primary school. She was my teacher of English for the longest time ever. Being a teacher’s kid, lessons continue at home. She made me read books and write compositions. She also coached me on reciting poems and helped in giving pointers. There was this time in campus when I was needed to speak in a Luhya professionals political meeting and I didn’t know what to include in my speech, she helped me come up with the speech amid her fears that I was getting into politics. My interest was mostly in the money that I would receive after the speech. Ha ha.


One favorite thing about mum is that she always insists on slaughtering a rooster,roasting it and packing it for you when you visit her. She will also make sure that you have maize flour,ground nuts and cassava or sweet potatoes,then pack a bottle of milk,some vegetables and bananas for you to go with to Nairobi . We always end up not agreeing on this because I like travelling light and most of the food would go bad after a few days. I however, never take it for granted that she still would want to send me food and ensure that I am well fed and healthy.


We have an open relationship. We dance together sometimes, sing songs, pray together ,cook together,share a face scrub and mask, talk about General life, her marriage, and me taking her clothes without asking. We also talk about my ex boyfriends ,which I stopped doing because mother’s don’t move on as fast as we do and we don’t want them thinking that we are spoilt when they have to hear about Wanyonyi,Otieno,Ondiek,Macharia,Nyakundi ,Khachina and many more to come. We protect their image of us . We disagree about church,religion and my choice of dressing . She feels I read too much and therefore should go for a Master’s degree and I have been promising her that I would for the longest time 😂.


Even as I learn about life and healing, I share my journey with her. This journey has involved talking about our past. Her parenting style. The things she did when we were young. The choices she made for us that I thought were cool or not cool. Being honest with each other. Sometimes disagreeing. But mostly forgiving and understanding each other.


On this mother’s Day, my wish for you mum is that you are blessed with abundant health and life. That you attract all you ever wished for. That the fire that burns inside of you continues to burn. That you overcome all setbacks. That you heal from whatever traumas life threw your way. That you find peace and happiness. You know, that peace that surpasses human understanding.
That you look forward to each day with hope and gratitude. That you live to your purpose. Whatever that is. That you live only for you. Not for me, my siblings,your mother or even your husband. You live your life for you.
That you get to have more trips around the sun and watch us marry or not,grow our careers,follow our dreams,travel the world, give birth to children,your grand children, watch your grand children grow and live to fulfill their purpose and enjoy your love more each day. You add warmth to the home and in my heart.
Happy mother’s Day mama wanje(mine).

Your first born daughter,Malika

 

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TAKING STOCK APRIL 2020

Mindful breathing. Inhale through your nose. Inhale for a count of 2. Feel air going down your nostrils to your lungs. Pause at the top of your inhale for a few seconds or a count of 3 while tightening your stomach area. Exhale gently through your mouth. Slowly. Repeat this five to ten times. Do this a couple of times in a day or whenever you feel anxious. Breathe this way for at least 5 minutes to see a difference in your mood.

You wonder why I ask you to breathe.

The parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for the body’s rest and digestion response when the body is relaxed, resting, or feeding. When your exhale is even a few counts longer than your inhale, signals are sent to your brain to turn up your parasympathetic nervous system and turn down your sympathetic nervous system. This breathing technique helps with instant stress relief and calm.

This is basically what I have been doing lately. If you are experiencing panic attacks or anxiety, breathing will help you calm down.

So,straight to taking stock ;

Making: My bed every morning . To be honest. This has been quite a struggle, especially when I stay at home. I am adding making my bed to my to do list and celebrating every time I manage to do it. I noticed that I am usually productive on the days I make my bed.

Courtesy of Pexels

Cooking: Ugali and Kienyeji vegetable. I am trying to eat clean and I found a mama mboga who prepares my vegetables. All I need to do is just boil or fry and I am good to go. I get too lazy to prepare kienyeji on my own and end up having ugali and eggs.

Drinking: Water. Warm water.

Courtesy of Pexels

Wanting: More clients coming my way. So let me just put it here. I am currently working for a fashion manufacturing company. You need quality clothes or washable,reusable,breathable masks contact me. Help support my KPI.

Loving: How I am learning new stuff and experimenting on skills I feel are aligned to my big rocks. My big rock here being Career.

Playing: A lot with a video editor app. I even made a video of places I have been to. Check out this YouTube link https://youtu.be/zvZ6gq96uEw and subscribe please. It seems that I am the only none who has viewed my own video. HAHA. But seriously, This is one of those coddiwomple moments. I do not know exactly the direction where I want my YouTube channel to go, but I have started the journey. I am in the mood to coddiwomple, I’ll be back later. Ha Ha.

Deciding: What content to put in and what not to put up. I am looking to be more intentional with what I post in my online platforms. But sometimes, I want to play a little. I am doing pretty well at that.

Wishing: That this Covid 19 pandemic dies soon. I can’t imagine how many people have lost their source of income or losing family to this disease. This is the time to be a little kind to your neighbors and strangers alike. Spare something for someone in need. Give a smile. Give way. Have empathy as you work with people. Everyone is struggling to come to terms. Others have been hit hard by this pandemic. Being kind will help us all. Remember,we are all interconnected. The same energy you give out is the energy you will receive.

Waiting: To see how all this will turn out. What else can I do? In the mean time, I work with what I have and just breathe.

Liking: That I have a job that picks into my creative side.

Wondering: What side hustles to have as I isolate. I know someone is making an extra source of income from this pandemic, ideas please?

Reading: Whatsapp messages. I feel like a fraud talking about books right now. I haven’t been able to touch a book in a while and even with my whats app courses ,I have been struggling to catch up lately. My whatsapp groups are more educational than fun and yet I have been struggling to keep up.

Considering: Taking a social media break yet my livelihood depends on it. A small percentage.

Watching: Queen Sono and I love it. Yes. I kept up with the jonesses this time. It is worth the hype.

Marveling: At the sun. I started sun gazing and I marvel at how the beautiful he is. I manage to look past the rays. All I see is beauty. White round ball. White ball with red flames sometimes. Pink ball sometimes. I do sun gaze early in the morning when the sun is rising and its rays are not harsh to the eye.

Noticing: That I am starting to get bored with my locks. I kinda miss my hair. But I do not miss the pain that came with plaiting. I am not sure how long I will have my locks on. I also notice that I have a new name in town courtesy of my locks. “Rasta!”.

Knowing: That all this will pass. You know, Corona.

Thinking: That I need a new strategy to balance out everything in my life.

Courtesy of Pixabay

Admiring: My body. After I apply oil to my body like I am being paid. I always end up shaking my waist as I watch myself in the mirror.

Getting: Ready for an ear drop. I had an ear ache early this week and I had to get an ear drop to soothe the pain. I didn’t realize that an ear ache can cause one not to chew food! Not a pleasant experience.

Bookmarking: Google Pexels and pinterest. I could spend a whole morning in these sites.

Needing: WiFi in the house. I now realize how much I could get done by having WiFi in the house. The world is changing and so should I.

Disliking: The discomfort I feel in my right ear and the blockage too. I now wont take it for granted when I don’t have ear aches.

Also I dislike the social media bullying going around. A young lady was recently bullied for dancing to the “Utawezana” song, soon after that, a young woman bullied after she lost her husband of barely a year to fire burns. Why is there so much bile? Why are people so angry and projecting their shame and bitter wounded souls to innocent people? Why is there a lack of empathy on people. Why feel the need to judge someone with your own yardstick? Why all the trolling? Why! I loved how the young lady danced. And I am sure most of you had her dance video on repeat/replay mode. Whenever you feel the need to troll, remember you are only projecting your shame and insecurities. It has everything to do with you the troll. Yes, you troll. You are in need of healing and lots of it if all you do is troll people online.

Opening: Whatsapp messages because I need to learn something today or because of FOMO. Fear Of Missing Out.

April is almost over. We are not sure what will happen in the next few weeks or months,but I remain positive because negativity won’t help at all. Penning down my thoughts helps to transfer feelings and also give me some clarity. I hope you share what you are feeling and also ask for help when you need to. Help is within reach.

I am sending you lots of love and light your way. I am lighting a candle for everyone reading this piece tonight, to send good energy your way by the time you are reading this.

Remember to share your thoughts, follow or subscribe to my blog.

Courtesy of Pexels
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YOUTUBE CHANNELS I LOVE

Hello majestic beings. How are you? Like really,how are you? How are you feeling right now. Do you feel safe within yourself right now? What challenges are you facing right now and how can you be assisted? What are you doing about your current challenges? Do you have a safe space to allow you vent or just seek guidance? You can share your thoughts here.

Now, I know that these past few weeks have been quite challenging for most of us. Most are struggling to keep up a daily routine and anxious about everything that is currently happening. You are not alone. Do not keep to yourself,assistance is within reach. Share with your friends,family or even social media channels. All this will pass very soon. In the meantime, stay safe.Wash your hands with soap and water,sanitize where you cant access soap and water,wear a mask and remain grateful.

I came up with a variety of YouTube channels that I love and thought about you. This channels might help you stay grounded,educated or entertained during this pandemic period. Heck! You might even learn a new skill. So,below are my favorite channels on YouTube.

Caroline Mutoko.

Her channel is my favorite Kenyan channel. She has very educative content. I learnt about Makiba ,saving and even how to carry myself a lady through her channel.She is eloquent and chooses topics that affects people. I love how she is bold and says it as it is. No mincing of words.She is also very intentional with what she posts. https://www.youtube.com/user/CarolineMutoko. My favorite topics are around women,money and investments.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xClQfIIrCUg. She shines the spotlight on people.

Bad Gyal Cassie

If you are a lover of dance or would love to learn a few dance moves,then this should be your go to channel. Cassie is a dancer,choreographer and creative director.She incorporates tutorials in her channel to enable you learn a few dance moves. I love her choice of dance style,music and flexibility

.https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRTvJensXSvtT3LbaC8U9Kg. My favorite is the Inama Challenge.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pla504lxyOA

Victor Oddo

His purpose is to empower and help awakening souls through the challenges of the awakening process and transition into 4th density. If you are into spirituality this is the channel for you.https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjerQpCYV_kL-IbQZNVHVPQ/videos

SynchroShakti

This channel provides Personal coach sharing tips for a calming, uplifting, soothing and positive life. Freeing yourself of negativity through spiritual practice. Living in the present moment, learning to manifest dreams, effectively using the law of attraction, and achieving mental, emotional and spiritual freedom. Katika Nair is a breath of fresh air.https://www.youtube.com/user/SynchroShakti/videos

Metanoia meditations

This channel is for Short, Ad free, dynamic, restorative, engaging guided meditations. If you need help with meditation or want to learn how to meditate,try this channel.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAoo_LTgzIo.

The Green Calabash

This is a Kenyan family showing us their lifestyle. Shiko Nguru appears to be a Super mom,Juggling care giving and home schooling. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCE6FlFVPa2HmLNpMgpUhWzg/videos

ACE Family

If you want to watch young people living the life of opulence,marriage and beautiful children this should be your stop. I love to watch this channel just to see how beautiful their house is,and also to dream a little more. I love the relationship Austin has with Catherine and also how they treat their children. Let us drool over their earthly possessions too. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=alOwWr7NsIk#

Joshua Maponga

I heard about him this week. I watched his videos on a Whatsapp group and couldn’t agree more with everything he talks about. I especially love his content about creating African solutions during this pandemic. Listen to him https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JzMVo1MrxPE.

Phat

This channel belongs to my former school mate. She is a Fashion enthusiast and shares her fashion style and ideas. I love her consistency and passion. She is definitely going far. Upwards and forward you go Phat.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxsgDIHORNM&t=10s

Live The Life You Love

Affirmations and meditations are what makes one grounded and positive. This channel helps you with affirmations and meditations. If you want to get started on daily affirmations,you may learn how to do it from this channel.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RVdkpPpy50

ThePalaceDanceStudio

Paris Goebel choreographs dope dance moves. When I first watched Royal Family on the green scene, I thought they borrowed African dance moves and concepts and I loved it. You might get hooked to this channel . https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RVdkpPpy50, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoJP0MMY7Kg, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjBXLCjvE0Q

I hope you got something out this. Share your favorite channels too so that we may know your favorites and even discover something new.

One more thing, Netflix has a variety of content that you can watch right now for free. Also, a friend shared this link for movies and I thought I should share https://nites.tv/latest-movies-added/

So, what content did you love? Also, do you mind sharing content you are watching do that we can binge on this Easter?

N/B: I have a YouTube channel that has been dormant for years. I have decided to bring you content on my channel. This will mostly be content around travel and life.Here is a link to my channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgBSQlbiWe9VNAaSzy0rLLw

Sending love and light your way.

Stay safe.

Featured

LESSONS I LEARNT IN THE FIRST QUARTER OF 2020

Grand rising majestic beings. It is truly an amazing day. For the first time in so many years living in Nairobi, I was woken up by a cock’s crow and birds chirping. What a wonderful time to be alive! I am grateful for this new day which brings promises of new beginnings, new life, new thought patterns, more things to be grateful for and another time to be alive. I am a day older, with much wisdom to take me through the day. I am happy and grateful for life and health. I ooze positivity even with the covid 19 pandemic that has disrupted the world. I am happy and grateful for this disruption. I get to type this from home and have a feel of what it feels like to work from home.

Life throws challenges and every challenge comes with rainbows and lights to conquer it

I have had quite a momentous first quarter of 2020. To let you in just abit; I left my previous job (story for another day), got another amazing job, went on two amazing trips that I ticked off my bucket list, experienced emotional roller coasters; from feelings of betrayal, anger and resentment, to feelings of forgiveness, peace, contentment and love. I experienced another healing journey that helped me come to terms with a past I had swept under the rug, to feeling one with nature, experiencing abundance, love and light. I have learnt from this experience and I am so grateful for losing a job, getting another amazing offer, learning from each challenge, each amazing moment and the opportunities that the Universe grants me.

As you can see, my year didn’t begin as I envisaged, but it is definitely worth it as everything that has happened is helping me get aligned to my purpose. Without further ado, below are lessons I learnt from January to date.

Thoughts are like drops of water;with our thoughts we can drown in a sea of negativity,or we can float on the ocean of life.

You won’t combust after leaving that job or after losing your job. You will survive. Oh yes you will. Do not despair too much at the thought of it. Know that whatever happens, you will be okay. Be positive that everything will turn out well, because it will.

You can have fun, enjoy life, create amazing memories and remain positive in the midst of a storm. A storm shouldn’t stop you from enjoying your life. You shall not reduce your days to gnashing your teeth and cursing all day.  In fact, you need to be kinder to yourself whenever life throws you a curve ball.  Be kind by staying in positive spaces, do what you love, eat your favorite meals, go on adventures, apply makeup, wear your favorite cologne or just dance in the house. Anything, to keep your vibration high.

Your attitude when you wake up can affect your entire day. If you wake up while vibrating low, all others areas of your life get affected by those low vibrations. Make it your purpose to inject positivity to your day every morning. Do this through morning affirmations and speaking positivity into your day. The days I proclaimed to have an amazing day, I ended up having amazing days. There are so many ways that you can inject positivity into your days. On your favorite days, what do you do when you wake up?

The world in a domino effect. Whatever you do affect others, if in doubt, look at what is happening in the world right now. Someone’s action in Wuhan, China has affected my mum’s job in the village here in Kenya. I am working from home right now because of someone’s choice in Wuhan. We now get to know that whatever one does can affect many people. My adventure trip in April got postponed due to Covid 19 . Cutting trees in place A can affect the livelihoods of those in place B. Whatever you do, be mindful as your choices affect other people. We all need each other to survive and thrive. This is also one of the 12 universal laws of the universe. The law of divine oneness which states that everything in our universe is interconnected. Every choice, word, desire and belief you have will also have an impact on the world, and on the people in your life.

we are one.

Surround yourself with people, friends and groups that grow you and are aligned to your purpose.  These people and groups should inspire you to grow and be better. Listen to how you feel after you spend your time with certain people. That will guide you.

When you experience setbacks, you sometimes feel like you will never achieve success, yet in every perceived setback is the seed for success. In every situation, there is a new opportunity to find creative solutions for your problems, redefine your priorities and explore other options. You begin to view challenges more freely once you know that you posses the power to focus your attention on new possibilities and possibilities for abundance are endless. There are no limits to what you can have.

All days are the same. Channel positivity into all days. Look forward into your days as you would look forward to your favorite day.

Traumas can be healed. Traumas can cause you not to be your authentic self. Your healing is within reach.

Your body is your temple and your womb is your altar. Take care of your body as you would take care of your expensive toy. Some people take good care of their machines but neglect themselves, what a disservice you do to yourself. Your body will thank you for taking care of it. Your womb stores all traumas and energies. These traumas can be passed on from generation to generation.

My ladies, be careful of the energies you bring to yourself as all these energies are stored in your womb. Your womb is your source of creativity, health, life and so much more. Take care of it.

Hoarding blocks your abundance. Just like a disruption in the flow of a river may cause stagnation, hoarding blocks you from attracting abundance. The world is made up of energy. Energy flows. It is always in a state of motion. You need to give in order to receive. If you want to receive love, give out love. If you want to have peace, give out peace. Send good thoughts, compliments and smiles and you shall receive them back.  Hoarding them blocks you from receiving more of them.  For instance, if you want fresh tea in your cup, you need to empty your cup from old tea in order to receive new tea. Do not hold on to things or people that no longer serve you.

The world is a cycle. Just as there are cycles in the weather otherwise known as seasons, there are also cycles/seasons in your life.  A day to be born and a day to die, a day for a seedling to germinate to a day of harvest, a day you are born to your old age. There are also days in your life that you will experience happiness and sadness. Nothing stays permanent. If you are currently having good days, live in the moment and enjoy the moment. If you are having bad days, know that they will pass. The bad day is not permanent. Always remember to live in the moment and enjoy more of the good days. Learn from the bad days too.

To manifest your dreams, you need an action plan. Act on your dreams. I have been dreaming of a car but I have never gone out of my way to test drive or check out my desired car.  The law of the universe states that, if you want to manifest something, you need to act on it. For instance, if you want a car, be proactive about it. Check out the color, the price of the car, go to showrooms and test drive the car. Come to think of it, some of the material things I have so far started as a wish, then a proactive measure to window shop for them and test or feel them. My wish to travel to Tanzania was granted after checking out after proactively checking out travel firms and I landed on an amazing travel firm that up to date remains my favorite.

It is important to spend time on your own. To center yourself, listen to yourself, be with yourself and just calm down. We live in an ever-busy world. You take in so much of what society feeds you and you may not know if those dreams you have are actually yours or the society’s. Centering yourself, reflecting and introspecting will help you find out what you want. It also helps you tune into your senses, listen to your guts and what your body is telling you. Having your alone time will help you discover your true self, hidden talents, discover solutions to your troubles and so much more. Use this self-isolation period to grow yourself by listening to yourself. It is not easy to listen to yourself when you never spend time with yourself. As you honor others with your time, honor yourself with your own time too. I get most of my ideas while spending time on my own. This blog topic idea came as a result of my me time.

 I hope you learn something from this piece. Send your thoughts on what you have learnt since the year began. Remember to wash your hands with soap and water, keep a one-meter distance and inject positivity into your days.

Sending love and light your way.

Featured

How to Cope with Social Distancing and Isolation During COVID 19 Pandemic.

Hello majestic being. I hope that this finds you safe and healthy wherever you are.

We are currently living in tough times due to COVID 19. This has forced many to take safety measures and social distance or quarantine.  It is better to be safe than to be sorry.

Social distancing and quarantine aren’t something many are used to and I know some may be struggling to cope.

I am sharing a few tips to help you cope with social distancing. Remember that this is not a punishment but a safety measure to protect yourself and everyone around you. I understand that businesses are affected and lives have been affected. The most important thing in life is life itself and health.

Corona virus is affecting peoples lives and health, and that is why safety measures are put in place to protect everyone. We can always start over after all this is gone. As long as we have life and health, we can always, always start over. This too shall pass.

Below is what you can do while self-isolating;

Read a book.

Do you have that book on your shelf that you have been planning to read for ages but you couldn’t get time? Well, here’s the time to dust it and find out what is between those pages. You can also re read your favorite book.

Write a book.

Are you a procrastinator who has been planning to write a book since 2010 but has never found time to start? You can start the first chapter today. Stop overthinking and just do it.

C/O Saatchi Art

Watch your favorite movies.

 If you love to binge on movies, this is the time to relax and enjoy. Catch your favorites on Netflix, Show max and YouTube. YouTube has some pretty good movies that you can watch for free.

Learn a new skill.

You want to learn how to apply makeup, do the ten step Korean skin care routine, learn how to plait, crotchet, sing or learn a new language.  Learn to edit, to cook some meal or sew clothes. This is your time. You can always look up for online tutorials. The Duo Lingo app will help you to learn a new language.

You can study online.

I have done Google online courses before. You can check out Google digital skills to find out the courses you’d like to study. You can also study online at Udemy, Cousera and other online courses.

Spring clean your house.

This is whereby you clean your entire house, and mostly parts that you do not clean on a daily basis. Clean you ceiling, wash your window panes, under your bed, clean your shoe rack, wardrobes and cupboards. Clean your walls, remove cobwebs form the house. Clean your sockets, door handles, under the sink, garbage cans, book shelf and carpets. You will enjoy the new look of your house after cleaning. It always feels like getting rid of old energy.

Declutter.

Do you have things you haven’t used for years? Clothes you haven’t worn for ages? Clothes belonging to your spouse or children that they no longer use, furniture, cutlery, and house equipment’s that you don’t use? Get them out of your house today. Donate them, gift them, burn them. Remember, when donating or gifting, only give out items that are in good condition. Decluttering helps to clear your mind and rids your house of old energy. You also get to free space for new things to come. Decluttering unlocks your abundance.

Re organize your house.

This is the time to change your seat position, position of bed or items in the kitchen. You get to give your house a new look.  Re organize your wardrobe and make it easier for yourself to locate your stuff in the house. You will be surprised at how re organizing can make your space look more beautiful.

C/O Speckyboy

Meditate.

When was the last time that you ever just sat in silence, on your own, breathing intentionally and quieting your mind? When was the last time your mind was still? You might want to try this every day.

Video call your family and friends.

You can use Facetime, zoom, skype or WhatsApp video calls. Seeing your family and friends across the world might help you and them feel better. You still remain connected despite the lockdown.

Start doing indoor workouts.

There are so many exercises you can do while in the comfort of your living room. Exercising will help you remain fit. You do not want to look like a potato once all this is over.

Bond with your children.

This is for parents and guardians. This is the time to create or improve connection with your child. Do activities together. Play together. Study together. Share stories together. Listen to them. Watch them. Educate them in a child friendly /age friendly way about Corona. Your relationship will be much better. This isolation shouldn’t destroy your relationship with your kids, instead, it should strengthen it.

Bond with your spouse.

 You have been more like roommates as opposed to partners. You get to see each other only on Sunday Morning or evening. You have grown apart. This could be a chance to spend time together, check  on one another, bond and re-ignite old flames. This could also help you figure out whether you still want to be in that relationship. Either way, you get to know your place in the relationship. Though to be honest, I am sure you have always known your place.

Practice some skin care.

You can scrub and mask your face. You can actually do this with home ingredients. Ever wanted to have a body scrub but can’t afford a scrub? How about, you make a paste from maize flour and use it to scrub your entire body. I know it seems weird. I have tried it before and loved the experience. This is what I do when I want some me time. Try this and let me know how it goes.  Take your time scrubbing your entire body. Loving and appreciating each body part, then rinse yourself with water or let water flow from your head to toe. Thank me later.

Dance to your favorite songs. 

Dancing boosts feel good hormones. You still need to feel good and happy even in the midst of the storm.

Journal your thoughts.

This is a good time to journal. Create a gratitude journal, an intention setting journal or just write down whatever comes to your mind. Writing down gives you clarity.

Analyze your goals or intentions for the year. Three months are already gone, what have you accomplished? What are you doing every day to get closer to your dreams or goals? Do you need to re strategies? Are you lagging behind? This analysis will help you figure things out.

Sleep.

 For lovers of sleep. I love to sleep too. Isn’t this the time to sleep all you want? You can actually get enough sleep and rest.

Repair stuff in the house.

Change that bulb you have been planning to change or repair your sink. There are DIY repairs you can do own your own or with the help of online tutorials. I have learnt to change bulbs, fix beds, fix the music system and sew clothes. I also can fix worn out shoes using glue.  What repairs can you do on your own?

This is the time for random acts of kindness.

The world needs more people to be kind to each other. Offer random acts of kindness by sharing a meal, cleaning a shared compound, reducing your radios volume so that your neighbors’ kid can have a nap, emptying the garbage bin, offering a smile and so forth. What random act of kindness will you be doing today?

Revamp your Resume and apply for new jobs.

This is the best time to update your CV and re edit it in order to begin your job search. Arm yourself with a well-done resume and cover letter to help you get that coveted job.

Breathe. Have you ever practiced mindful breathing?  Breathing helps calm down the mind. I f you find yourself constantly stressed you need to breathe mindfully a lot. Breathe in deeply through your nose, hold it, then breathe out through your mouth. Do it five times or even up to ten times.

Spend time in nature.

 Bask in the sun. Watch the moon and stars, walk bare feet in the earth, watch a flowing river or fountain. Walk in the rain. Hug a tree. Lie in the ground. Watch the fire elements. Your candles burning or fire from firewood Appreciate nature in its form, enjoy it and give thanks for it. You are one with nature. Nature heals the soul.

c/o still earth

Drink lots of water and eat fruits.

I suggest you stock up on fruits that have seedlings and vegetables. Also, have ginger, garlic and lime infused water. This infusion has helped me a lot. Whenever I feel like I am having a flu and I take this warm infusion, the flu tends to go away. Let fruits and vegetables boost your immunity.

C/O Unsplash

Start a ritual

You can do this alone or as a family. A ritual may be something like saying positive affirmations in the morning, praying together at night, having dinner as a family, Watching a particular movie together. If you stay alone, your ritual could range from affirmations to morning stretches, to gratitude prayers, or long showers. I have made t my ritual to listen to positive affirmation when I dress up every morning and journaling every evening.

Subscribe to blogs like mine and other blogs that you love. Read content that grows and uplifts you or content aligned to your purpose.

I hope this gives you lots of options to choose from and makes things easy for you as you isolate.

I feel like this is also a time that our earth is taking time to rest, heal and rejuvenate as the world slows down.   Do not panic. Take necessary precautions and stay positive.

C/O Daily mail

I am sending my love, light and healing to everyone that has been affected and infected. This too shall pass.

Stay safe.

Love.

Featured

Taking Stock March 2020

Hello Majestic beings.
I am happy and grateful for another opportunity to share my thoughts with you. March started off on a good note.   It has been a month of shedding off old skin and starting afresh. Old cycles are ending and new cycles are coming in.
So, here’s what I have been up to;

Thinking: About how there is a silver lining in every situation. Some situations may look unfavorable, but with a positive outlook in life, you get to discover how that situation is molding you for greater things to come.

Eating: Kisumu boys aka Omena or if you like it,fingerlings and Ugali. Why are fingerlings called ‘kisumu boys’ though? I had been craving it. I have a weird relationship with omena. Some days I crave them, others,I can’t stand the smell.  My kid sister gave me this Omena in December 2019. I still have a some leftover.

Drinking: Lots of water.

Reading: The body keeps the score by Bessel van der kolk. My friend Neema shared with me this amazing book and I am loving it.

Watching: Selina on Maisha Magic East. It is literally the only Program I watch on TV consistently.

Listening: To positive affirmations on YouTube. It has become part of my morning and evening ritual to listen to positive affirmations.

Smelling: Omena. You know how you cook these fingerlings and the smell stays hours later.

Treating: Myself with lots of sleep,face scrubs and spiritual podcasts. Do not confuse spirituality with religion.

Hoping: To have a productive and healing week. I recently took a different career path that fulfills me and I hope to be more productive with my time. This is also a month I hope to face my traumas,open wounds in bid to heal them and restore my whole self.

Wanting: A holiday weekend or a stay-cation. I have never had a staycation in Nairobi.

Reminiscing: At the good times I had in Diani/Wasini/Kisite Mpunguti island in February,2020. I am grateful for the adventure and the amazing people I met .

Starting: This project that fills me with excitement.

Loving: My new work space. This is a place where I feel like I get to use my talents,skills and brains. Doing something I love and creating a difference while at it.

Grateful: For friends and family in my circle. The past two months have affirmed that I have the right people in my life.

Enjoying: My new found love for live bands. My friend happens to be a music junkie and so she introduced me to her world. So far, I love the experience. I especially love small intimate places where one can chill and listen to live bands. I have come to appreciate Kenyan musicians. They are so talented.  Check out lamusicjunkie.wordpress.com for music entertainment content.

Thankful: For the seasons I go through. I have come to appreciate life and the events that happen in it.

Learning: How to trust in the process and having positive affirmations whenever I seem to encounter a setback or blockage.  I learnt that the Universe always has my back. That the law of attraction really works. That the Universe provides and is always on time. I have also been learning about social media management and already putting to practice all that I have learnt.

Excited: About a trip in April. I pray that I get to visit this magnificent place I have wanted to be at.

Feeling: Calm. There is peace in my life and my heart. I feel at peace with my past,my present and my future. I guess this is as a result of learning to trust in the process.

Knowing: That life is a cycle. What’s important is what we choose to do and believe in during these cycles.

Noticing:  That I have grown so much as a person, all thanks to life coaching. I am always open to learning, unlearning and healing. Choosing healing has made my life worthwhile.

Wanting: A new house and a new bed. I would love to live in a different environment. A place that is beautiful,safe,secure and clean.

Liking: My skin. My skin has been behaving lately.

Needing: Lots of money. Haha. It sounds cliche but Ireally do need some money today.

Opening: My kid sisters email.( with her permission) Her email is nothing like mine when i was in campus. She is definitely a fearless peer influencer who balances between school and volunteer work to create positive change in society. I am in awe of her.

Planning: For my next trip this month. I still have no idea where i will go for the trip.

Thats all for now.

I am happy and grateful for the new followers who recently joined this amazing space. This space is all about adventure,sharing candid thoughts,being authentic,uplifting each other and enjoying the world we live in. I hope you enjoy your time here.

Don’t be an energy vampire. Please leave a comment,suggestion,like or share.

Wishing you an amazing day,month and year.

Sending you light and love.

Cheers.

MARCH NEWSLETTER UPLIFTING AND INSPIRING YOU  Join our Community Angels sign up for our mthly email take a lk @ our NEW website www.buzzardskorner.com

Featured

Diani Valentine’s Special

Imagine chatting with a couple in a train. The couple occasionally touch each other, remove imaginary dirt from each others face, say sweet nothings to each other then offer to buy you coffee,which you reject because you are cool like that and you also heard them say that they feel uncomfortable having a drink while a strange looking lady who doesn’t stop singing ontop of her earphones and occasionally stop to show them beautiful views of mountain ranges stares. You want them to feel uncomfortable. It gives you a little pleasure.

Diani Beach

Imagine going to a club in Diani with two couples you met an hour ago. You both decide to look around clubs since it is too early to go to bed. So you are the third wheel in the Quartet. You end up having so much fun. You haven’t been to a club in a while. This clubs reminds you of a club ” juu ya mama watoto” in Kakamega. The club of your youth. Hapo juu ya mama watoto supermarket is where you learnt how to taste viceroy. It is also where you Learnt to dance to Matonyas’ Vaileti, and watch your friends jump to roots and techno music. You know it’s time to leave a club when roots starts to play.
Anyway, this club in Diani reminds you of good old days. There are a few people in the club, but you have awesome company. You have already gathered a little information about your stranger Adventure friends. Two are siblings, the other two you can’t figure out. Figuring out whether people are dating or just not into each other is not your gift.
What is as awesome as hanging out with a couple of none judgemental couple stranger’s? You really don’t care about what they think of you. All you want to do is shake what your mama gave you. You shake and shake and then shake some more. You make trips to the washroom to wash your face that is dripping of sweat. You know this is a waste of time since you will be dripping more sweat . You must have lost a few pounds in the dance floor. You lost yourself in the beats. You had to be asked to leave the dance floor because time was up. You leave, sadly. Sad because you haven’t showed your other impeccable dance moves but happy that you got to dance your heart out.
You go back to your hotel room. You are sharing a room with a stranger. A beautiful stranger. You only know each others first names. You don’t care if they are Psychos or witches. They are beautiful. They look cool. They must be cool. Your instincts have not warned you either. So you are happy to share a room with her. You find out later that she is an amazing lady with a beautiful personality.

The next morning, you go get your breakfast. It is buffet. If love was sight to behold, the buffet would be it. You are a Luhya lady who loves food. The food is sumptuous and delicious. You pick from every bowl and have a ripe banana later just to take care of things in the stomach. You have arrived. You feel.

You then head to the bus. A tour bus that is in charge of your logistics. You head to Kisite Mpunguti. This time, you have known a few others in the bus, so you chit and chat. You also take in the beauty of Kwale county. This is a bucket list ticked. You are in Kwale county for the first time ever. A remote place. The houses here are exactly what you see when you watch those Kenyan soap Operas from the coast. You marvel at their simplicity and beauty.

Your life is about to be handed over to four guys in a dhow. They will sail with you for an hour, so you can see the Dolphins in the deep sea, they will also help you swim to the beach in the middle of the ocean. Your life is totally dependant on them.


You can’t swim to save your life. Heck! You can’t hold your breathe for two seconds. But you trust the guys. They are divers too. You relax and marvel at the beauty of the ocean.
You can’t see any island, all you see is blue waters, fishermen with their boats,and a dolphin here and there. You are in an unfamiliar territory. Someone else’s territory.
Indian Ocean has its mystery. You remember stories you were told about ‘jinis’ and mermaid’s. You wonder which ones could visit.
The ocean is rough on open seas and calm in places where there are islands. The islands are windbreakers. The winds causes the ocean to be rough, you learn.
You also learn that you can tell a deep from shallow end just by looking at the colour of the water. Light green is shallow, deep green is deep waters.
You finally get to the beach in the middle of the ocean. Yes, a beach in the middle of the ocean. This is a sight to behold. It is called kisite island. The island takes the shape of a boat and has no inhabitants. You can run around the beach in 10 minutes. The white sands are so beautiful. They almost look like Himalayan sea salt, you think.

One of the divers offers to take you to the beach. You can’t swim to the beach on your own. So you cling on him like a baby clings on the mother when held high. He knows he has power over you this minute. He is gentle. He tries to teach you how to float. You make a few tries but you don’t like it. You have swallowed copious amounts of salty water. Your eyes are itching. You just want to go to the beach. You get to the beach and take in all beauty of God’s creation.
You try to cover your legs with sand the way you see in movies. It feels so nice. You then are asked to try snorkel. You learn breathing techniques. You are afraid. After many attempts, you get under water and are able to see the corals. You then lose momentum and breathe with your nose instead of your mouth. Haha. Water rushes in your protective gear. You can’t breathe. You freak out. Your guide takes you out of water and tries to make you go under again. You decline the offer You are too scared to make another try. Your eyes, nose and throat itch. You decide to just go to the beach and chill. You also take some photos and savour the moment.

You thank the Universe for bringing you here. You tell the Universe that you want to see more of its creation. You want to enjoy all that the Universe created. You want to tell stories about what the Universe has created. You hope the Universe has heard your prayer and is going to grant you your wishes. You have spend over 4 hours here.
It is time to go back. You need to go back to Wasini Island. There, you will enjoy Swahili cuisines .

Kisite Island

The journey back is a bit different from the first. The sea is so rough. Turbulence. One of your fellow Adventures loses her phone in the sea. People are no longer chatting. You can tell everyone is worried. Except the sailors who say they have seen worse. This is their way of encouraging you. The journey back feels like a billion years. Water gets into the dhow occasionally. Some people get sea sick. You are pressed. The toilet in the dhow is underneath. You can’t get in because it is not safe to walk in the dhow when the sea is rough.
The ocean shows you it’s mighty powers. You wonder how it is turbulent at the top yet remains very silent underneath.
It gets calm. You can now go to pee and relax. Phew! What a relief! Thank Goodness your bladder didn’t burst. It would be sad to burst your bladder while in an adventure.
You finally get to Wasini Island. Everyone’s is happy to be at Wasini. You are all safe. You can now eat too. Crabs, sea weed( not the other weed), coconut rice, parrot fish,soup, coconut cassava and kachumbari. You eat them all. You love them all. You have been through a difficult experience, you might as well eat everything on your platter because you are alive.
Amazing people, that was my experience in Diani last week. You was me.
It was such an amazing experience . From stranger’s, I found friend’s. Some will probably be lifetime friends. This was the best Valentine’s Adventure weekend.
Here are a few pictures to show the beauty of Indian Ocean in Kenya, and the magnificent Kisite mpunguti and Wasini Islands.
Diani beach is now my favourite beach. I will definitely be back here. When I get back, I will have mastered breathing techniques and done away with my fears. This was indeed a valentine’s Special.

Adventures teach you alot about yourself. You learnt about yourself and the world around you by seeking Adventure. I got this urge to face my fears and pursue my desires in Diani.
There are firms in Kenya that can help you have your Adventure without breaking your bank. Let me know if you need me to recommend one to you.
Have an adventurous year. I pray that March comes with blessings and more Adventures.
Sending light and love your way.
Namaste.

View from Mama Ngina drive, Mombasa city.
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The Olorgasaille,Lake Magadi Magic.

Had you told me that I would have a good time on this particular day,I would have sneered and laughed at you. Life had thrown me a curve ball that week and I was ill prepared for it all. I guess that’s why they say if anything can go wrong,it will. I was basically just sailing through the storm.
I needed an escape. Rest from all the chaos. A place yonder. Far away from everything that seemed familiar.
I woke up up at 3:00 am. Who wakes up at 3:00 am on a Saturday morning? What do you do when you find yourself awake at this time? Cry yourself to sleep? Meditate, Toss and turn in your bed? This was an auspicious time to be asleep. It was raining cats and dogs.
I wasn’t planning to go back to sleep. I know myself too well. If I went to sleep, the next time I would be waking up would be at 8:00am and that means I would be left behind. I couldn’t let this happen. Not after a series of negative events.
I stayed awake in bed until 4:30am then began to prepare myself. I ordered a Bolt ride. Bolt operates like Uber for those who don’t understand.
It was a chilly morning. I arrived at the CBD just before our tour bus. It rained for the most part of our journey to Lake Magadi. Music played in the background. Some music made me sad, Others made me cheer up. I sat by the window. I love the window. I can have a glimpse of everything around me. What I saw brought me back to life. Rolls of magnificent hills covered with white clouds. The entire region carpeted with green vegetation. Picturesque is an understatement. This is God’s wonderful art. It is all so beautiful and healing. I am experiencing the joy of being surrounded by magnificence. This is my reality. I am living in it.
We make our first stop at the Olorgasaille archeological museum. My peers say that they learnt about this musuem in their Geography and History class. I must have been absent or dozing in class that day. Truth is Geography and History along with most sciences were not my favourite subjects. I heard the teachers speak but I didn’t listen. You know, the way you hear someone speak a foreign language but you don’t listen.
Olorgasaille is world renown as the factory of stone tools and the only place in the world with the largest number. The prominence and accumulation of human tools represents actual camping places of early men and evidence that human species had a tropical origin. Imagine, I was staring at skull’s of our fore father’s. Looking at skull’s of home sapiens,homo habilis et all.
This museum has excellently preserved biological and cultural evidence about the evolution of man. It also sits in a Lake Basin that existed about 100,000 to 200,000 years ago.


Our next stop was at Lake Magadi. It is the southern last lake in the Kenyan rift valley, lying in a catchment of faulted volcanic rocks,north of Tanzania’s Lake Natron. During dry season, it is 80 percent covered by soda ash and is well known for its wading birds including flamingos. It is a saline alkaline lake, approximately 100 square kilometres in size.
On that day, it was flooded. It rained the entire night in Magadi like it did in Nairobi. This means we were unable to get to the Hot springs. The place is so breathtaking. I couldn’t help but stare at the Pink flamingoes. I could see Shompeli hills that lies between Kenya and Tanzania. This reminds me of the Loliondo saga,where many Kenyans used this route to get to Tanzania to get a cup of healing water. The boarder here is not manned.
I especially love Lake Magadi for its crystal quartz stones. I took some with me.
The Lake is recharged mainly by saline hot springs that discharge into alkaline lagoons around the lake margins. I remember this Lagoon word. It’s the first word I heard a girl in my new school talk about in geography class. It made me feel like I didn’t study geography in my previous school.
Anyways, walking at the shores of the Lake is therapeutic. You feel like you are in the flow of life and at one with nature.
My friend made me take many pictures of her. She returned the favour. We continue taking in the beauty of this lake then head to the swimming pool.
I love water. I just haven’t learnt how to swim or even hold my breath for one minute. My attempts to make myself hold many breaths fail. A friend I just made tried to help me float in water. She tells me to imagine my favourite song and sing it in my heart. Haha. I couldn’t imagine of any song. Why does it happen that when someone tells you to imagine something , you can’t? Right now, I can imagine of thousands of songs. Her attempts to help me losen up and float on my own fails. I can float on my own though,with the help of the pools rod/rail. I float so well and feel like I am on top on the world. This confidence is because one hand is holding on a rod. So I took turns between floating with aid from the rod and dancing in the pool.
We then went to cut a cake for February babies, dance alittle then head back to Nairobi.

I feel fulfilled.
It was a wonderful day!

The day turned out to be the most amazing day since the year began. I must have forgotten about the little problems I had back in Nairobi. I felt refreshed, rejuvenated and well rested. I got this renewed strength to handle whatever life throws at me. That which does not kill us makes us stronger. Let not the sun go down on your wrath.
It was an amazing day. It will certainly be a good month. Here are a few pictures of this amazing trip.

Sending love and light your way.
Share your thoughts on a travel that brought you happiness.
Crystal quartz
c/o Olorgasaille museum
c/o Olorgasaille museum
Lake Magadi
at the shores of L.Magadi
c/o Magadi pool
Featured

I SHOULD HAVE TOLD HER

I should have told her
That all she ever needs is herself
That love lies within herself
That she can create the life she wants
That she can have new dreams
That she can let go of other people’s dreams of her
and embrace her own dreams
That happiness is not a destination
Where you get to the peak
and show the world that you have arrived
That she can do it all by herself
That she is surrounded by people that love and care.
That she is worthy
That she is unique
That she is loved by the Universal source
That she is love
She is wellness
She is greatness
She is abundance
She is whatever she thinks she is
That greatness lies within her
Waiting to be let out
That she is the goose that lays the golden eggs
That she can overcome whatever life throws at her
That she can heal
She can grow
She can glow
When you see her,
Tell her
What I should have told her. ©MarionMalika

c/o Marion Malika. @Olorgasaille Museum

Featured

Taking stock February 2020

Hello majestic beings.

I am happy and grateful to be here today. It has been a while since I did a taking stock post.

A lot has happened since the year began and I am glad to let you in on what I have been up to.

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Reading: Letter to my Daughter by Maya Angelou. I am re reading this great piece.

Listening: Classic 105 FM. There is some cool music playing there. Cheap thrills by Sia playing.

Writing: A draft of this post before I make a final post.

Eating: Ugali and Omena. This is my brunch. I have been busy all morning.

Drinking: Water. Water is good for my skin.

Sitting: On my bed. I love working from my bed. Also, I face the window hence I am able to stare at the clear blue sky when thoughts escape my mind.

Thinking: About my next trip. I am already wishing for another trip.

Wishing: That everything ends well. I have been through some drama the past few weeks.

Reminiscing: At the fun I had over the weekend at Lake Magadi and at a friend’s place.

Wanting: A new start. Somewhere amazing.

Wasting: Nothing. I can’t afford to waste anything these days.

Liking: My space. Neat and clean. I love clean spaces.

Loving: How happy I have been despite the curve balls that life threw at me over the past few weeks. I love how resilient my spirit is.

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Hoping: To get positive feedback. God bless the works of my hands.

Needing: A swim trainer/ coach. Now that I am overcomingy fear of water.

Noticing: How good I look yet I haven’t been working out. I am loving the body I am in.

Thinking: About my goals for this year. I am always setting new intentions.

Opening: WhatsApp messages. I learn alot from my WhatsApp groups. I do courses and follow groups that are aligned with my purpose.

Feeling: Happy, grateful and optimistic.

Planning: For my my next content for this blog. It will probably be a travel post.

At Lake Magadi.

Have an amazing week and month.

Sending love and light your way.

Cheers.

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WHAT TO LET GO IN 2020

Congratulations! If you are reading this, you made it to 2020.

I am happy and grateful for 2019. I would describe my 2019 as a year of adventure, self awareness, and healing. I am claiming 2020 to be my year of abundance in all areas of my life, a year of happiness and growth.

As the year has begins. It provides us all with immense opportunities. 365 days of opportunities to live the life we are destined to.

I write this today on 01/01/2019. We have started the year on a blank slate. It is up to us to fill it with whatever memories we will be reminiscing at in 2021. Today is a chance to start over. An opportunity to awaken your inner fierce. Your awesomeness. To be unapologetically you.

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There are things that will hinder us from achieving our goals and purposes and from being our authentic selves. These are the things we leave behind today. NOW.

Courtesy Google

When we hold on to old energies, energies that no longer serve us, we block our abundance. I’ll use an example my life coach gave me.

When you have tea that has gone stale in your thermos, you will have to empty the stale tea from your thermos flask, clean it, before pouring in fresh tea. When you forget to empty the stale tea, and pour in the fresh tea, your whole tea becomes stale. That is how abundance works. You have to create clean space for it.

So, below are things we should let go of in order to live to our fullest potential.

Let go of old energies. Declutter. Clear your space. Remove and burn those old memories from past lovers. Give out stuff that no longer serve you.

Let go of suppressed Anger. First, all emotions are good. They send you a message. Anger is a good emotion. However,it hurts you when you let it in.Let go of this anger you are holding on by first seeking healing. When you seek healing, the universe will send you help. Seek out the services of a counselor, a life coach, or a trusted friend. Find safe spaces to let out the anger safely. Do not let Anger consume you. Run,spend time in Nature.Write down your thoughts.

Let go of procrastination. Most of us are making 2020 resolutions. Research has it that, by the third week of January 2020, many people would have dropped away from their resolutions and gone back to their old habits. We have those who won’t even start. Do not be afraid to start over and over and over. When you fall, you get up, dust yourself and continue.

Courtesy Google

Let go of fear that holds you hostage from living an amazing life. It is time to face your fears. My greatest fear was water. I feared large masses of water. To make it worse, I don’t know how to swim. This fear made me skip adventures that involved swimming. I decided to conquer this fear in Tanzania. My friend Zulfa encouraged me. I asked a professional swimmer to help me out . I swam in a magnificent natural pool and had lots of fun. I realised I had been losing out this kind of adventure. I am looking forward to be a pro in swimming. You too can face your fears head on. Is that fear causing you to lose on that promotion? Face it!

Let go of blame games and take full responsibility for your life. You might have been through some difficult circumstances in life, these circumstances might or are causing you not to live the life of your dreams and you are blaming someone else for it. They may be the cause of your misery, but, it is up to you to make a new beginning for yourself. You owe it to yourself.

My darling, If you are an adult, you are responsible for your life. Start taking full responsibility for your life and make decisions that will work for you. You are in bad relationships? What part did you play in that relationship? Are you not the one who accepted it, enabled it or attracted it? Once you take full responsibility, you begin to heal those traumas and you become a better person.

Let go of comparison. Comparison is the thief of joy. Quit comparing yourself to your peers. You are you. You are unique on your own. Work to become a better version of you. We were all born to accomplish different purposes. Comparison steers you away from your real purpose. Imagine a fish comparing itself to a bird. The fish lives its entire life thinking it is not worthy because it cannot fly. It was not made to fly. It was made to swim. That is how your purpose works. That is how you were created. Unique in your own way. There can only be one you.

Let go of Toxic relationships. Are you spending most of your time with people that are toxic to your soul? You feel defeated, disturbed, drained, your energy levels go down, sad or angry after spending time with people? You need to cut them off or reduce contact. When you spend time with toxic people, you will also end up being toxic. Toxic relationships kill you. You die by a thousand cuts. You pay for it with your soul and in the process you block your abundance.

Negative self talk. This is something I struggled with in the past. You are who you say you are. Words have so much power in our life. Anytime you tell yourself that you are not good enough, you will end up being not good enough and will continue attracting circumstances that will affirm your negative self talk. How about you create positive affirmations for yourself and tell yourself everyday? Make it your morning or evening ritual to tell yourself something good about yourself.

Look at yourself in the mirror and say,’Damn! I am so beautiful’. See how that brings a smile on your face? Say it everyday until you believe it. Because you are actually beautiful. Do not let society’s standards of beauty dictate to you how to feel about yourself.

Below are some positive affirmations you can say;

I am beautiful

I am intelligent

I am loving

I am kind

I am destined for greatness

I am in the flow of life.

I am here to take up space.

I am a significant person in this society.

I am abundance

I attract abundance into my life

I am healthy

I am wellness

I am loved by the Universal source

You owe it to yourself to say positive things about yourself. You can make your own list of positive affirmation and hang it on your wall or desk. Start now.

Courtesy Google

With this out of the way, you are guaranteed to vibrate higher and live a better life. When you find that you have fallen short, do not beat yourself up. You are Human. You keep going on. Upwards and forward we go.

2020 is the year that your desires are manifested. You become a healed person ,vibrate higher and attract abundance into your life.

Have a prosperous 2020.

Remember to be kind to yourself.

Sending love and light your way.

Cheers.

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BURCHS RESORT-NAIVASHA BIRTHDAY TREAT

Happy New year Guys. I am a few hours into the new Year and I am already excited to see how this year will unfold.

Last year on 18th December, I had an opportunity to visit and spend the night at Burch’s Resort, Naivasha. This was their holiday treat for me after I got many likes on my picture ,on their wall on Facebook. Thank you for this support. You gifted me this as my birthday gift.

Burch’s Resort is a camping & cottage resort located on the Southern side of Lake  Naivasha with a beach front. It is Ideal for bonfires, tent camping and corporate team building.

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It is Styled to echo the motif of a traditional Kenyan resort and  blends international sophistication with raw African beauty, while featuring rows of individual tents, each with its own view of the Lake Naivasha. Here is a link to their website http://www.burchsresort.co.ke/

Penina and I were so excited to travel to Naivasha. This was my first time to actually be in Naivasha. I only passed Naivasha through the highway when going to Western Kenya before, so you can imagine my excitement that day.

We arrived at Burch’s on the evening of 18th December where we were received by a very lovely lady and a gentleman man who showed us around before taking us to our two bedroom cottage where we would be spending the night.

Ladies and Gentlemen, this lady from western Kenya has never been to a cottage ! Let alone a two bedroom en suite cottage. I felt so privileged to experience this for the first time.

The bed was very spacious,comfortable , beautiful and the entire cottage magnificent. I loved the modern electrical cooker, the color of the couch, the ambiance and even the energy around it.

A bed at Burch’s.
The sitting area in the cottage with an Open kitchen.

We had dinner then went to bed early as we were so exhausted.

The following morning, I woke up to a very beautiful sight. Burch’s Resort in its luscious form. The sun shining from the trees and the view from the magnificent Lake Naivasha made the place heavenly.

We walked around the resort, taking in all the beauty for a while before we settled for a sumptuous breakfast. The food was tasty.

We then went ahead to enjoy boat rides and taking pictures of the Hippos, birds , the lake, the beautiful tall trees and well manicured grounds before leaving.

Boat Riding at Lake Naivasha
Basking in the morning sun while enjoying the scenery at Burch’s.

I have to commend the staff for their hospitality. We were treated like queens and felt very valued there. I would definitely recommend Burch’s resort to anyone who wants a holiday.

Here’s, but a few of the pictures we took wile at the resort.

I am so happy and grateful for the chance to experience this holiday. I look forward to experiencing more amazing holidays in amazing hotels and resorts.

Heated pool at the resort.
Side view of the cottages
Front view of the cottage
The mini man made forest .
Enjoying the greenery and the view from the lake.
View from the Resorts Lake front.
We took a selfie too
Enjoying Breakfast while taking in the beauty of Burch’s
Those are the activities at Burch’s
Penina and I enjoying a boat ride.
Taking photos while checking out.

Make it your plan to visit Burch’s Resort this year. You are guaranteed to have a time of your life, relax and wind off.

Contact me for more information and guidance.

Thank you for this opportunity once again.

Sending love and light your away.

Happy New Year!

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AN ODE TO MY TWENTIES

A picture i took sometime in 2018.

Dear twenties,

It has been a momentous decade. A memorable one.

A ten year quest to finding myself, finding love,fulfillment,purpose and so much more. This has been a journey of self discovery.

You taught me so much about myself,my healing,my relationships and generally about things about and around me.

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You taught me how to adult and be independent.

I have been doing adult stuff like paying my bills, cleaning up after myself ,saving money,investing,making sane purchase choices while trying to live within my means,keeping myself safe and learning to live on my own.

This was in Campus. Where I learnt about the consequences of unconscious freedom/independence.

Rode along the career roller coaster in my twenties.

From Interning at a Sugar company I wished to have worked for before its collapse, to having my first job after campus arranging books in a High school library, to being a Marketing and Public Relations officer in a printing firm ,working as an insurance sales executive which is just a flower language for a sales guy, to banking. I still remain a communications enthusiast.

Never in my life did I think I would do any of these jobs. After graduating, I thought that my next destination would be in media. The Universe had other plans. ( I still get to be in media through my online platforms.)

I started a blog. Took various online courses. Read books. Paid someone to have my Curriculum Vitae pimped. Relocated from Western Kenya to Nairobi . Learnt various skills in my job industry. Got in Chamas. Left Chamas. Witnessed friends wed. Buried friends. Saw friends through divorces and separation. Baby showers. Graduated twice. Traveled.

Graduation day.2014

You taught me to discover and explore.

I had so many first times in my twenties.

I moved out of my parents house. I moved out of my home county. Paid rent for the first time. Zip lined at Kereita forest. Had a canopy walk. Tried swimming in a natural spring in Arusha,Tanzania. Got a passport. Traveled out of my country. Went on game drives. Camped in the wild. Danced in a fast moving overland truck. Hoped from club to club.Now my house gets turned to a club some days. Got my heart broken. Took a train. Flew on a plane. Rushed to the Hospital in an ambulance. Climbed Ngong Hills. Hiked through the grand Canyons and forests , visited museums,and even won a Holiday!( I will be spending my birthday at the Burch’s Resort,Naivasha courtesy of friends who liked my pictures.) Asanteni sana. I am because you are.

Kikuletwa Springs. Tanzania.2019
Ziplining at Kereita Forest.Kenya. 2019

On a safari , Game drive and Camping. 2019

You brought me amazing friendships

I had amazing friendships. Friends who have been willing to come to my rescue. Friends who have traveled across counties just to visit. Friends who have traveled and explored with me. Friends who have danced and made merry with me. Friends who have brought positive vibes and growth into my life. Friends who listen to me and allowed me to vent. Friends who have been my safe space. Friends who have taught me stuff.

The one who showed up at my house to check on me when I was unwell. The one who loaned me a huge chunk of money without interest to enable me sort out something. The one who taught me how to drive though I will still need a refresher course . The one whose unwavering support I am guaranteed. The one who introduced me to life coaching. The one who lends me books to read.The one who gifted me with a holiday voucher at Hilton. The one who gifted me cute dresses.(Gifts is one of my love language.) The one who prays for and with me. The one who keeps me grounded. I have various friendship boxes.

I made new friends,lost touch with old ones, out grew others,and I still have a circle that will stick for life.

Communities that build me came my way

I joined online communities that are in line with my purpose. These online communities and groups have built who I am today and continue to help me become a better person. I joined groups consciously. I left groups and online communities that no longer served my interest and well being. It is amazing how I have learnt a lot from these online communities than I ever learnt from reading some motivational books.

Join groups and communities that enrich your mind, bring positive vibrations to you,supports your growth mentally,physically,spiritually and emotionally.

If all you get from a group is negative vibes,You sacrifice your authentic self to please others-people pleasing, your energy being sucked ,or if you are in it just because of fear, obligation or guilt, It is a high time you left. We do not serve a god of suffering.

How to fall in love.

My love life was a roller coaster ride. The wrong choices, the dangerous choices.The consequences.The patterns,shame,unconsciousness , self loathing,self sabotaging, lack of self love ,co dependence and lack of self awareness to self awareness, consciousness, interdependence, healing,growth,learning my lessons, forgiving myself and letting go, learning to love myself ,growing into my authentic self,the person I am always meant to be, and finding love within myself and in the universe. Upwards and forward I go.

Patterns show you where your energy is blocked. They also show you your repeated mistakes and the need to make changes.

I learnt to let go of energies that bring me sadness,anxiety,depression , fear and became intentional in finding happiness. I learnt that I am deserving of a happy life and that the Universe gives it to me free of charge. Happiness is my portion. I am destined to have a happy life.

You must want to spend the rest of your life with yourself first.

Traumas

My twenties taught me about my traumas, my poor boundaries or lack thereof , my poverty mindset and my fears. I learned, healed and is still healing ,changed my mindset and became better each day. I discovered my big rocks in life. I discovered my Values. I discovered healing. I discovered travel. I discovered areas in my life that needed change and enforcing of healthy boundaries. I am in pursuit of living a purposeful life.

Grand Canyons at Ol Jogi Game Reserve. Nanyuki.2019

Humanity and society.

Twenties was the time to discover the society I live in. A patriarchal society where by things/ systems are skewed in favor of the man. I discovered just how this patriarchal mindset and stereotypes makes me a fragile human being in this society I live in. I discovered how easy it would be to be attacked just because of my gender.(Especially since Femicide has been happening). I discovered how easy a target I can be because of my gender.

I became aware of my environment and felt the need to be vocal about the injustices. I started growing a voice. I kept my mind and heart open to learn more about how to protect and defend myself,stand up for myself and my fellow women folk.

I discovered that I am very passionate about everything related to Equality, Gender and women empowerment.

I discovered that women are not my enemy,Patriarchy is.

#StopFemicide2019. Ngong Hills.Kenya2019

I discovered that I have a dissenting voice,and that is okay.

Evolving sexuality.

My thoughts on sexuality has evolved. Well, to be honest, I didn’t know much about my sexuality apart from just having a “flower” down there and making sure that I do not get diseases or have kids with people I wouldn’t want to live with.

It took me 29 years to know that sexual energy is one of the greatest energies there is. ( We are energy beings)

Sexual energy is the energy that creates life. I learnt to honor my sexuality and embrace it. I learnt the importance of having sacredness in my sexuality and thus I became more discerning about it.

Sexual energy is powerful energy that should be honored and treated with consciousness. I learnt that my sexuality feeds into my self esteem,confidence,creativity,how my body looks like and how I present myself to the world. This I felt was some sort of awakening . I have since been very discerning about the people and the energies that I let into my life.

Did you know that the womb keeps score? Well, now you know.

My positive Affirmations

I discovered that I am intelligent, Okay, I always have been, though doubt crept in, in high school). I am loving. I am ambitious. I am magnificence. I am powerful. I am beautiful. I am destined to live an amazing life. I am abundance. Abundance flows in and through me. I am accepting of who I am. I radiate beauty,charm and grace.I am powerful and present in my own life.Prosperity flows towards me and through me.I am here to grow and expand. The world is my oyster.

Here’s to more travel and adventure.

Here’s to Healing,growth,love,peace,friendship,abundance,magnificence,learning and unlearning,growth,wealth and fulfillment.

Here’s to being unapologetically me.

Here’s to my thirty year world.

Thank you.

Twenties you were amazing, Momentous, Legendary,Trans formative, Healing,Fulfilling and youthful.

I am now letting go of old energies from the past decade and creating fresh clean space for new things to come. I am letting in new energies, new ideas,new relationships,new opportunities,new hope,new state of mind,new happiness and new health.

I look onto my next decade with excitement,hope,love and determination.

Adios twenties. It has been real.

Love.

Thirty year old me.

English Point Marina. Mombasa,Kenya. 2018
Attended a friends wedding in Nakuru,Kenya.2019

“When you are paying attention to your thoughts, words, actions, feelings, food habits, reactions, decisions, secrets, patterns, and physique, you start tuning in consciously.”
― Dr Prem Jagyasi

“Pay attention to the intricate patterns of your existence that you take for granted.

― Doug Dillon

“To live on a day-to-day basis is insufficient for human beings; we need to transcend, transport, escape; we need meaning, understanding, and explanation; we need to see over-all patterns in our lives. We need hope, the sense of a future. And we need freedom (or, at least, the illusion of freedom) to get beyond ourselves, whether with telescopes and microscopes and our ever-burgeoning technology, or in states of mind that allow us to travel to other worlds, to rise above our immediate surroundings.

We may seek, too, a relaxing of inhibitions that makes it easier to bond with each other, or transports that make our consciousness of time and mortality easier to bear. We seek a holiday from our inner and outer restrictions, a more intense sense of the here and now, the beauty and value of the world we live in.”
― Oliver Sacks

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SAMBURU WEEKEND GET AWAY

Imagine watching the sun set by the banks of River Ewaso Ngiro as you prepare to pitch tent and enjoy your night in the wild.

Imagine spending the night with strangers who are just about to be friends,enjoying the bonfire, playing games,sharing food, and listening to the river ripple and sounds from the wild.

Imagine listening to Elephants trumpet, grunt or snort from a very close distance.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is ethw5031-1.jpg
Enroute Samburu National Reserve on an overland truck.

Well, This was my reality last weekend. A dream come true.

“JOBS FILL YOUR POCKET BUT ADVENTURES FILL YOUR SOUL.”

JAMIE LYN BEATTY

I chose the Samburu game drive and camping as a birthday gift to myself. A choice I am glad I made.

I traveled to Samburu National Reserve with my friend Zulfa and a couple of beautiful strangers who later became friends. This was a momentous trip.

”Samburu National Reserve  is a game reserve on the banks of the Ewaso Ng’iro river in Kenya.  The Reserve can be entered via the Ngare Mare and Buffalo Springs gates. Once inside the reserve, there are two mountains visible: Koitogor and Ololokwe.

Samburu National Reserve is very peaceful and attracts animals because of the Ewaso Ng’iro river (meaning “brown water” and pronounced U-aa-so-Nyee-ro) that runs through it and the mixture of acaciariverine forest, thorn trees and grassland vegetation.

The Ewaso Ng’iro flows from the Kenyan highlands and empties into the famous Lorian Swamp. The natural serenity that is evident here is due to its distance from industry and the inaccessibility of the reserve for many years” .

The Ewaso Ng’iro river contains large numbers of Nile crocodile basks

You can find out more about Samburu game reserve in the link below. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samburu_National_Reserve.

Below are pictures of my stay at Samburu.

MAN CANNOT DISCOVER NEW OCEANS UNLESS HE HAS THE COURAGE TO LOSE SIGHT OF THE SHORE.” ~

ANDRE GIDE
The Grevy Zebra found at the Reserve
We watched the elephants confront each other. They were later stopped by their mothe.
We woke up to Olive Baboons in the Camp.
The beauty of Samburu National Reserve.
The reticulated Giraffes.
Look at that Girraffe. Only found at Samburu
Rare moment captured here
I loved this beautiful and unique hill.
See who finally pitched tent.
Bonfires moments by the Banks of River Ewaso Ngiro
I left my mark.
Woke up feeling grateful. Rare momemt hanging out by the crocodile infested river.
And Birthday cake for December Babes

I was honored to meet Samburu Women. They have rich culture. The neck pieces we wore are made by the Samburu women.
At the Market center in one samburu village. Perfect place to get your ornaments and sourveniors.
A picture of a Manyatta. The women build Manyattas.
We captured Camels crossing the road in Isiolo.
See who is standing next to a Manyatta.
Warthogs of Samburu National reserve.

Travel opens our minds and heart and makes us better people .

“IT IS BETTER TO SEE SOMETHING ONCE THAN TO HEAR ABOUT IT A THOUSAND TIMES.”

“WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU DID SOMETHING FOR THE FIRST TIME?”

I hope you enjoyed looking at the pictures and learnt something.

Where are you traveling to this Christmas? Please share your adventure stories with us.

Sending love and light your way.

Happy Holidays.

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OL JOGI GAME RESERVE WEEKEND ESCAPADE

Hey lovely people. It has been a while since I was here. I hope you are all doing well.

Over the weekend, I traveled to Nanyuki in Laikipia County for the first time ever. It has been in my bucket list that I should visit a game reserve and a national park. The universe answered my prayers.

I visited Ol Jogi Game reserve in Nanyuki county.

‘Nanyuki is situated just north of the Equator (0° 01′ North). Founded in 1907 by British settlers, some of whose descendants still live in and around the town. Nanyuki is currently the main airfield (airbase) of the Kenya Air Force. The British Army Training Unit Kenya (BATUK), has a base at Nyati Barracks. It conducts infantry exercises in Laikipia and on Kenyan Ministry of Defence land at Archer’s Post”. The Equator passes 6.5 km (4 mi) south of Nanyuki. ( courtesy of Wikipedia)

Photo courtsey of Reflex Safaris

Ol jogi Game reserve is located in Nanyuki ,Laikipia County. It’s a 2 to 3 hour drive from Nanyuki town, along Naibor-Rimuruti road.

It sits on a 53000 hectare piece of land and is owned privately. It has a magnificent view. A perfect place to be when you need to get away from the modern life.

Ol jogi is also a rescue centre for wild animals.

It is home to the only Grizzly bear in Africa. The bear weighs 700 kgs and is considered the most dangerous animal. More dangerous than the lion.

The Grizzly bear in Ol Jogi. The only bear in Africa.

There is a variety of animal and bird life seen seen at Ol Jogi. The big cats; the lion and cheater as well as Elephants, Zebras, Giraffe,Spider monkeys, gazelles, antelopes dik dik, water-buck, Baboons, wild dogs and sniffer dogs.

A female spider Monkey. She doesn’t like females.
This was my first time seeing a lion in real life!!

There is a wide range of species of bird . These include owls, parrots,Lilac breated roller, secretary birds,superb starling,yellow billed hornbill and many others not mentioned here.

Owl. It is able to turn its head without turning 180 degrees .

The Reserve offers a magnificent view with the grand canyon crowning it all. It is a natural wonder. I had an adrenaline rush moment hiking in the grand canyon.

At the grand Canyon in Ol jogi. Hiking through the canyon was a lifetime experience.

A canyon is basically a gigantic valley or gorge in the Earth’s surface . It was formed due to erosion primarily by water and second by wind.

The reserve charges KES 800 for Kenyans.

Now, Did you know?

That elephants are the only mammal that cant jump?

A male elephant and his daughter in Ol jOgi.

That cheaters are the fastest land animals but leopards are the most stealthy?

This cheetah was not affected by our presence.

Cheetah have black ‘tear marks’ that streak from the inner corner of their eyes and down their cheeks

Cheetah have spots where leopards have rosettes

Cheetah is the fastest land mammal and is built for speed

Hyenas are not members of the dog or cat families. Instead, they are so unique that they have a family all their own, Hyaenidae

Elephants are the world’s largest land animal! Male African elephants can reach 3m tall and weigh between 4,000 -7,500kg. Asian elephants are slightly smaller, reaching 2.7m tall and weighing 3,000– 6,000kg.

Father and daughter elephants bonding in the back.

The Grizzly  bear has 3-4 feet in height when it is on all four legs. It can be up to 8 feet tall when it stands on back feet .

I am grateful for this experience. I hope to experience more adventures and let you know about them.

I travelled with Reflex Safaris. Try them out. They are amazing.

Taking a picture with a lion in the background. 101 things to do before you die.

Have an amazing week .

Sending light and love your way.

Remember to share,like or comment.

It is because of you that I grow.

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THINGS THAT PISS ME OFF

It has been a tough week for me. I struggled to wake up a quarter to midnight to get to work. This is one schedule that throws me off completely and before my body gets used to the routine,I am onto another routine.

Many incidents happen in life which may abuse your good time or moment.

I have been getting mad at things you may think are little but for it to get to my nerves means it is not so little.

So, here’s is a list of things that piss me off;

Don’t piss me off and then tell me to calm down!!!

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People who take neutral stands on important subjects. I do not trust people who choose to be neutral.

When I decide to keep my hair natural and someone says it is shaggy. I do not know where people get the nation that African Hair should obey the force of gravity or be permed to look better. This is a very wrong mindset. As long as your hair is clean and well kept that is all that matters.

People who feel entitled to my time and energy. This puts me off.

People who make you feel bad for feeling bad.They try to control how you should feel. All emotions are good . Let people feel sad,angry,happy,excited or whatever they are feeling.

People who use the ” #fact” before texting a lot of nonsense.

People who ask me when I am going to have a child yet we are not even friends. Like I owe them a child.

People who have decided that I am their role model and so I should dress,talk,walk,think and act in a certain manner. Please note that I shall not change who I am to accommodate your misguided perception of who a role model should be.

People who make you feel guilty for choosing to rest. In their minds, you are only productive when you look busy.

People who ask a questions or start a conversation then get mad when they realise that you actually are informed. I get this a lot from some men. They do not expect a woman to be knowledgeable so they resort to body shaming or insulting you to stop you from expressing your thoughts.

People who insult you then say it is a joke. If it is going to make me feel bad,then it certainly is not a joke. I hate jokes on body shaming, tribal stereotypes,rape,religion,mental health,and gender violence. Making jokes about them aims to normalize them. We do not make it normal to shame someone because of their body structure.It is Pathetic!

People who walk slowly on the road. I am learning how to accommodate people I think are slow for me because I cannot change who they are yet we have to coexist.

People who constantly ask for advice about their situation/circumstance but never do anything about it.

People with a pessimistic mindset. These ones drain my energy. They are the ones who say,”Bora uhai, Hakuna kitu tunaezafanya”,and so forth. Your solutions are met by negative feedback. They have lost all hope in life and are very infectious with their negativity.

Pissed off emoji courtesy Google.

Ever since I chose to be the boss of my life, I realised that no human has power over me. I am totally responsible for my life and the state it is in ,therefore, I am learning not to allow people affect me negatively.

I have chosen to surround myself with people whom I share similar values with.

I have chosen to protect my time and energy. I no longer waste my time and energy on some conversations. I shall not plant my seeds on stone.

I am learning to be well grounded and by doing so,I shall not be swayed easily.

I have learnt that all feelings are good and they send a message to us. Feeling is our body sending us a message. When I feel tired, that is my cue to have some rest.

What are the things that piss you off?

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LOCAL TOURISM: KITENGELA HOT GLASS/ROLF PLACE

Are you a Kenyan living in Nairobi or is looking for a weekend escapade in Nairobi and its environs? Well, look no further.

Let me introduce you to Kitengela Glass bridge in Ongata Rongai . It is located off Magadi Rd from Bomas of Kenya off Masai Lodge Rd 1st left after mosque.

Kitengela Glass bridge offers a thrilling experience for adrenaline junkies. The brave ones will get a chance to go through the highly suspended and adrenaline pushing bridge .

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Kitengela Glass bridge

One can also have their meals at the Rolfs’ place, swim and play archery at the same place. The environment is serene and good for anyone looking to refresh and enjoy a breathe of fresh air away from the hustle and bustle of the city. Their food is affordable and delicious.

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Archery field at Rolfs place

The place is magnificent with a touch of glass everywhere, beautiful artifacts,carvings and jewerllery made of glass.

One can also witness how pots,jars,mugs and vases are made from clay and also purchase the end products.

Touch of glass direction.
Tusker Beer hat made in Kenya
Made of glass
Swimming pool at Rolfs place
Beaitiful scenery at Rolfs place.
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ON BECOMING

As you may have noticed, I have changed the name of my blog from Miss Malika to Becoming Malika. This is basically a journey I am on. A journey of becoming who I am. Becoming the person I had always wished to be. Becoming fulfilled, happy, grateful ,having an amazing life and living life on my terms.

https://wordpress.com/alp/?aff=40901

The months of August and September 2019 have been life changing for me. In a profound way, my life has been better. I have been on a journey of healing.

For growth to happen, I had to self reflect,analyse and heal parts of me that were causing me not to live freely.

I have always wanted to get to know myself beyond what I have been socialized to know about myself. Beyond what I have been told I am. Beyond what society and its relatives had decided that I should be. Beyond boxes that had been placed for me in order to limit me.

I wanted to know why I do the things I do.Why I keep on repeating the same mistakes. Why I keep on attracting toxic people in my life. Why I self sabotage. Why I never feel fulfilled even though everyone around me feels that I am living the good life. Why I hide my pain, suffer low self esteem, martyrdom,and mental slavery. Why I put on various masks.

Photo taken at Kitengela Glass Bridge

When I consciously made a decision that I want to unravel the mysteries and history behind why I do the things I do, why I do not feel fulfilled, the universe led me to life coaching. It is here that I got the answers I had been yearning for. Here, I felt like I belonged. Like I mattered. I discovered myself. I became more self aware and learnt to be well grounded.

Now, I realised that my whys’ had names. The names were self loathing, martyrdom, poor boundaries, low self esteem,headfukery,lack of self love ,self sabotage,mental slavery and so much more.

I went through a very uncomfortable stage in my life where I had to undress all my wounds, find out what caused those wounds, clean the wounds, allow myself to feel the pain ,dress the wounds again and begin the process of healing.

I had to reparent myself,take responsibility for the state my life was in, accept healing and start a new journey.

I have made strides towards becoming a better version of me. I am free from pain. I continue to heal from various traumas. These traumas will never hold me back. I feel alive,fulfilled and excited to face each new day. I am excited to see how strong I am and how high I can fly. Onwards and upwards I go.

This is my journey to becoming.

I have not arrived.

Everyday presents an opportunity for me to grow and learn. I strive to be better, do better and live a purposeful life.

To live my life on my terms. A life I have always wanted to live. Own my narrative.Be the boss of my life. Define success on my terms. Take 100%responsibility over my life and the state it is in.

I hope to share my journey of healing and growth together with lessons I learn along the way.

Here is to an amazing life. Cheers to Becoming.

Sending light and love your way.

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ADVENTURES IN TANZANIA

This post has been long overdue.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”)

― Sarah Frances Brown, mother of author H Jackson Brown (but is often incorrectly attributed to Mark Twain )

In August, I was privileged to travel to Tanzania .

This was my first time travelling out of Kenya. You can imagine my excitement when I finally set foot at the Tarakea Boarder in Tanzania.

I have been to Uganda but only at the boarder so that doesn’t count.

Travelling outside Kenya has been on my bucket list for such a long time but I was always afraid of making commitments because of my fear that it would be expensive.

I decided to write it down on my bucket list and Alas! I saw a post by Reflex Safaris that they were organising a trip to Arusha and Moshi in Tanzania. Their charges were also quite affordable. This is how I began to save for the journey.

“Better to see something once than hear about it a thousand times” “Better to see something once than hear about it a thousand times”

I applied for a temporary Passport via E citizen at a cost of only 350 Kenya Shillings and a Yellow fever vaccine for 2,500 Kenya Shillings at Wilson Airport.

I was surprised to learn that Yellow Fever vaccination at the border costs 1,500 Kenya Shillings only. I would have saved a thousand shillings!

My friend Zulfa joined me and together we met other awesome people we travelled with.

Zulfa and I
We stopped in Oloitoktok just to take a picture.

The journey was epic.

We used the Loitoktok boarder route and made our first major stop at Kilasiya Falls in Marangu. I lack words to explain how beautiful that place is.

The air at Kilasiya Falls in so fresh. The scene was spirit lifting.The waterfall was still-color of snow that pounded heavily onto the rocks,thundering down the mini pools foaming at the bottom. The mini pools were as clear as cellophane enabling us see down into the rocky bottom . The aroma of the area was great.

Kilasiya Falls in Marangu ,Tanzania.

I felt like my body was receiving some healing every time a took a breath of fresh air. I have never been to a place so magnificent.

After enjoying our time at Kilasiya, we proceeded to Moshi where we spent the night. I was so exhausted that I ended up missing the Moshi night life experience. I slept as soon as I was done having dinner.

The following morning, we had breakfast, had team building then began our journey to Kikuletwa springs.

Kikukletwa springs is so beautiful. The scene picture perfect.

The spring was aquarium blue and magical. I had a fish massage and even swam in the spring. I just had to get in the warm water even though i had not swam my entire life. I had someone who helped me swim. I now know how to make strokes.He he he.

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Fish massage at Kikuletwa Springs

I had my luch at the Springs then we headed to Arusha where we toured the city, went shopping at the Supermarket in readiness to travel back to Kenya.

Kikuletwa Springs

While travelling back, i saw Mount Meru which was quite scenic. It looked like a desert i only saw on Nat Geo.

We arrived at Namanga Boarder at around 9 then finally in Nairobi at midnight.

This is a memory i shall never forget.

Thank you Reflex Safaris for making this experience worthwhile.

Below are some pictures from the Tanzania Trip.

I wish you an adventorous October.

Sending love and light your way.

Stop at Arusha before heading back to Kenya
Tanzania currency that i had exchanged upon arrival a the border. That was equal to 1000 Kenya Shilling.
Swimming at Kikuletwa spingsundefined
I had dressed up in readiness for Moshi night life but I ended up sleeping.

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TAKING STOCK SEPTEMBER 2019

I am happy and grateful that I had an amazing August.

August 2019 , will go down memory lane as a month where I made very many positive changes in my life, attained personal goals, interacted with amazing people and broke off from toxic people and things.

Kikuletwa Springs, Tanzania

I realised I didn’t know much about myself as I thought.

When you don’t know who you are, why you feel the way you do, and do the things you do, it is not easy to heal and attain the fullness of your purpose.

I am on a mission to discover myself. learn , relearn and unlearn.

I am currently unlearning damaging things in my life that have stalled my growth and hindered me from living free.

Without much ado, here is my taking stock;

Reading; A lot of messages from the Gene Coaching lessons. This is a life changing Whats-app course/family.

Writing: this taking stock post and earlier updating my library.

Wanting: To have my hair done so I don’t have to comb it every day.

Wishing: I was sleeping in my bed right now.

Celebrating: Bucket lists and milestones. Yaay! I got to travel to Tanzania last month! This was on my bucket list for such a long time.

Fish Massage at Kikuletwa Springs

Loving: The person I am becoming. I am loving the fact that I have become more inquisitive and thirsty for information/knowledge.

I have an insatiable thirst for knowledge and the universe is responding by placing me in platforms where I get the information I need to grow and become a better person for myself.

Feeling: A little cramps. I am just glad that this has not affected my work or anything which is quite unusual for me. My body is truly healing in all spheres.

Waiting: To receive a satin Bonnet that I ordered from Craving Yellow. I loved the color of the bonnet online. I hope it will be just as cute as it looked in the picture.

Dreaming: Of brighter days as usual. I am destined to live an amazing life.

Learning: About Soul ties.

Did you know that,man has 3 parts? The body which is the physical part, the soul part which interacts with the self and the spiritual part which interacts with you in the spiritual dimension.

The soul also has three parts; The mind, the emotional and the will.

Hoping: To receive my passport before the end of this month.

Embracing: The person I really am without feeling the need to impress or surrender to societal pressure.

Noticing; How days are fast moving. December is almost here.

Watching: Nothing specific right now but occasionally, I have been watching Selina on Maisha Magic.

Needing: A bigger space for myself. I feel like I have outgrown my current space.

Drinking: Plain Water. Water is nourishing to my soul.

Eating: Rice and Chicken stripes earlier but I couldn’t finish because I didn’t like it. I am not sure if it has anything to do with my stomach cramps.

Disliking: Jokes on Sexual assault, Rape and Gender based Violence.

I don’t understand why anyone would make a joke about these serious violations to people. Making jokes about these tends to minimize the gravity of what Rape does to a person and enhances normalizing it.

Treating: Myself with lots of sleep, good music, adventure,and dance.

Rolfs Place-Kitengela Kenya

I hope you have an amazing September.

Keep warm.

Sending love and light your way.

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SUBTLE LITTLE WAYS YOU ARE SABOTAGING YOURSELF

“As I look at my life, I might ask “Who is the person that represents the greatest threat to me?” And if I happen to have a mirror around somewhere, I can rather quickly answer that question.” 
Craig D. Lounsbrough

Do you always do things that undermine your progress?

The past few days have been mind blowing for me.  I have had discussions with people and those discussions made me to self-reflect.  As I was reflecting, I realized that there were things that I am doing that are sabotaging my well-being. This is what has brought me here. To help you realize how you are sabotaging yourself.

Sabotage is to ‘’deliberately destroy, damage or obstruct (something)’’. This is according to Oxford Dictionary.

‘’ To deliberately stop someone from achieving something, or to deliberately prevent a plan or process from being successful’’. Macmillan Dictionary.

Self-sabotage is an act or process tending to hamper or hurt ourselves. It is when part of your personality acts in conflict with another part of your personality. For instance, drug abuse, self-injury

Whenever you are starting something new and a part of you is going to resist the change, the goal is to recognize yourself-sabotaging behaviors and then do something about it.

Your upbringing and lack of belief in yourself can lead to self-sabotage.

So, here is how you are sabotaging yourself.

  • You tell yourself a negative story.  Those negative stories in your head that ;

I’ll never be good enough. I’ll never afford that. I can’t get that job. Guess what, whatever you think you become. Start by thinking positively. Tell yourself that you are good enough, that you can do it, and that you deserve every good thing that is happening in your life.

  • You say Yes when you really want to say no.  Are you this person who puts other people’s interests ahead of yourself?  Are you a people pleaser? You give so much until you run dry. You cannot pour from an empty cup.

‘’Your work is to fill your own cup, so it overflows. Then you can serve others, joyfully from your saucer’’ Lisa Nichols

  • You quit when the going gets tough.  When things are hard, this is the moment when you do not give up. Hard times do not last. Tough people last. Nothing comes easy. One has to work hard and endure tough times in order to succeed.
  • You do not take radical Responsibility.  Are you the person that always shifts blame to other people or circumstances? There is a saying that, a bad workman blames his tools. You are both the designer and end user of your life. You are where you are because of the choices you have made. You need to start taking responsibility for your life and make the necessary changes.  You shoot yourself in the foot anytime you shift blame when things do not work out in your favor.
  • You procrastinate too much. To procrastinate is to delay or postpone action. Every time you postpone doing something that you should have started yesterday, you are sabotaging yourself.  When you want to do something, the time is now. How far are you with your New Year goals? You probably haven’t made any changes because you are procrastinating. Start taking action today. Now.  I am guilty of procrastination and as a result I still have not yielded any results. Procrastination slows your personal growth. Want to lose weight? Start Now. Want to start a business? Start now.
  • You spend all your time planning. You have a bright idea, but you are wasting it by taking ages to plan.  Too much planning can actually stall action/change. How about you start acting now instead of wasting a lot of time to plan?
  • You let others monopolize your time.  You let other people waste your time. For instance, instead of spending your time researching or doing something valuable, you spend it chatting aimlessly until the day passes. Guard your time jealously because no one is going to do it for you.
  • You do not ask for help.  You cannot do everything on your own. It is okay to delegate work, to ask for help when you need it. Not asking for help will cause you not to deliver the best results, make you end up tired and frustrated or not able to move forward.  By asking for help, you are letting go off unnecessary pressure/burden which will help you concentrate on what really matters.
  • You do not read, research, google, ask, and inquire.  Are you the kind of person that does not find out more about a certain topic that you do not understand?  You fail to ask the right questions? Well, you are doing yourself a disservice.  Information is readily available to you just by the touch of a button.  We have numerous resources to enable us acquire knowledge. Ignorance is no defense. Set time to learn something new every day. Learn, unlearn and relearn. Have a mind open to new ideas.  Learning is very crucial for your growth. You, learn by reading, researching, asking and even through googling. Do not be too lazy to google.
  • You do not trust your gut instincts.  Your instincts are God given. Use them. Your instincts will save you from trouble.  I have been in trouble many times because I just did not listen to my divine feminine instincts. The mind can be manipulated, so it is important to also use your gut instincts when making decisions.
  • You are hard on yourself. We are all human and we make mistakes. Learn to forgive yourself anytime you make a mistake. Do not be too hard on yourself. Even after you have realized you how have been sabotaging yourself, forgive yourself. There is always room to learn and be better. Do not be afraid of making mistakes.

Life is a personal journey and each day it changes. Life is fluid.  Take time to reflect on your overall well-being.  I am also working to live a purposeful life and this involves identifying areas that need change and make the necessary changes. 

You too deserve to live a life of purpose. A life full of love. You deserve to live your best life.

Share your thoughts on things that you do that sabotages your life.

Sending light and love your way.

“One simple thing to do and destroy the spirit of self-sabotage is to admire the beauty hidden in ugly circumstances.” 
― Israelmore Ayivor
The only reason I can’t jump in and engage life is that I’ve told myself I can’t. Yet I can’t helping wondering what would happen if I told myself I could?” 
― Craig D. Lounsbrough

Cheers.

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OVERCOMING IMPOSTOR SYNDROME

Do you often feel like you do not deserve your job even though you are highly skilled?

You do not believe that you deserve your spot in your career,social circle and life as a whole? Well, I suffer from this too. I constantly have felt like a fraud in my career and even while blogging. There were days I felt I wasn’t good enough to publish my blogs and also felt like my blog posts were not good enough.

Well, this is what Impostor syndrome does to you. It is  also known as impostor phenomenon, impostorism, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience.

It is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud”.

This psychological phenomenon, known as imposter syndrome, reflects a belief that you’re an inadequate and incompetent failure despite evidence that indicates you’re skilled and quite successful.

It causes people to doubt their achievements and fear that others will expose them as fraudulent. The condition can affect anyone, regardless of their job or social status.

Psychologists first described the syndrome in 1978. Research from 2011 suggests that approximately 70 percent of people will experience at least one episode of impostor syndrome in their lives. It may be especially prevalent among women considered to be high-achievers.

Imposter sysdrome has symptoms like Anxiety,Perfectionism,Self doubt and Fear of failure.

I have been in situations where I doubted myself and could not believe that I am actually good at something,even though those close to me would point out that I did good or that I am talented.

I have felt like an imposter just owning this blog.

People often suffer Impostor syndrome because they tend to believe that others are as equally talented as they are. So they feel like they do not deserve the benefits or fruits of there work.

This (Impostor syndrome) can be defined as a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evident success.

Understandably, I realise,these are feelings we all have.

Highly successful people and high achievers are more susceptible.

Maya Angelou ( American poet, singer, memoirist, and civil rights activist) suffered from this syndrome despite having published seven autobiographies, three books of essays, several books of poetry, and is credited with a list of plays, movies, and television shows spanning over 50 years.

Despite her own self-doubt, Angelou was a fiercely accomplished person. She was nominated for the Pulitzer Prize and a Tony award, won five Grammys for her spoken recordings, and served on two presidential committees. All this while also charming readers with her honesty, vulnerability, and personal fortitude

People who have been deemed successful have actually come forward to say they have felt like frauds.

Many people experience symptoms for a limited time, such as in the first few weeks of a new job. Others may battle feelings of incompetency for their whole lives .

The Executive

Every time I was called on in class, I was sure that I was about to embarrass myself. Every time I took a test, I was sure that it had gone badly. And every time I didn’t embarrass myself — or even excelled — I believed that I had fooled everyone yet again. One day soon, the jig would be up … This phenomenon of capable people being plagued by self-doubt has a name — the impostorsyndrome. Both men and women are susceptible to the impostor syndrome, but women tend to experience it more intensely and be more limited by it.
—Sheryl Sandberg, Lean In
Sheryl Sandberg is the Chief Operating Officer at Facebook. In addition to being an accomplished tech executive, in her book Lean In she explores the ways women (and men) can make a welcoming and diverse working environment that encourages women to pursue leadership. She has inspired millions of women to advocate for themselves professionally and push through feelings of inadequacy.

Sheryl Sandberg, Lean In

How to tell that you could be suffering from Impostor Syndrome/Symptoms

Self Sabotage/Self Doubt

You tend to have low self confidence and a fear of failure. You are always in a constant internal struggle between achieving success and being found out.

You attribute success to external factors. For instance, you will say you were just lucky.

Perfectionism

Perfectionism and imposter syndrome often go hand-in-hand. Think about it: Perfectionists set excessively high goals for themselves, and when they fail to reach a goal, they experience major self-doubt and worry about measuring up. Whether they realize it or not, this group can also be control freaks, feeling like if they want something done right, they have to do it themselves.

The Superwoman/man

Since people who experience this phenomenon are convinced they’re phonies amongst real-deal colleagues, they often push themselves to work harder and harder to measure up. But this is just a false cover-up for their insecurities, and the work overload may harm not only their own mental health, but also their relationships with others.

How to overcome Impostor syndrome

First you have to start by recognising it in yourself and others. Recognise that you suffer chronic self doubt that overrides any feelings of success or external proof of your competence .

Recognise the feelings when they emerge.

Remind yourself that it’s normal not to know everything and that you will find out more as you progress.

Reframe failure as a learning opportunity. Find out the lessons and use them constructively in future. This is a critical lesson for everyone .

Seek support. Everyone needs help: recognise that you can seek assistance and that you don’t have to do everything alone. This will give you a good reality check and help you talk things through.

Visualise your success. Keep your eye on the outcome – completing the task or making the presentation, which will keep you focused and calm

I hope this makes a difference in your life.

Share your thoughts.

Sending light and love your way.

Sources; Google, Wikipedia,Harvard Business Review,Grammarly and Standard Digital

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FACTS ABOUT AUGUST THAT YOU DIDN’T KNOW

Do you know the Origin of August?

  • August is the eighth month of the year in the Julian and Gregorian Calendars, and the fifth of seven months to have a length of 31 days.

  • The name of the month was changed to August in honor of Augustus Caesar in 8 BCE.

  •  It was originally named Sextilis in Latin because it was the sixth month in the original ten-month Roman calendar under Romulus in 753 BC, with March being the first month of the year. About 700 BC, it became the eighth month when January and February were added to the year before March by King Numa Pompilius, who also gave it 29 days

  • August does not start on the same day of the week as any other month in the year in common years, but ends on the same day of the week as November every year. During leap years, August starts on the same day as February and still ends on same day as November.

Its birth flower is the gladiolus or poppy which represents beauty, strength, love, marriage and family.

The birthstone for August is the peridot or onyx.

Kenya in August: Nairobi and the central highlands are warm by day, cool at night and receive practically no rain .

August is usually when the migration arrives in Kenya from Tanzania, and prime wildlife-viewing season in the Masai Mara.

Holidays: August 12th- Idd Ul Azha- a sacrifice feast. This is usually celebrated by the Muslim Community.

Kenyan Celebrities born in August

Ajuma Nasenyana- Fashion Model

Eric Wainaina-Musician

David Rudisha- Athlete

August has been known as a dark month in Kenya. This is because of the numerous tragedies that befell the nation in the same month.

It is the month that Kenyas First president, Mzee Jomo Kenyatta passed away in Mombasa.

An explosion rips through the US Embassy in Nairobi killing 212 and injuring 5,000 people. The attack is linked to the Al Qaeda terror network .

Vice-President Kijana Wamalwa dies after illness at the Royal Free Hospital in England, just two months after wedding Yvonne Nambia

Masinde Muliro, a former assistant minister and activist in the fight for a multi-party system collapses and dies at the airport shortly after arriving back from abroad.

What else do you know about August?

My sources are; https://www.standardmedia.co.ke/article/2000090393/why-august-is-regarded-a-dark-month-in-kenya-s-calendar and Google .

Happy August.

Sending love and light.

Featured

TAKING STOCK JULY 2019

Are you suffering from insomnia and you do not know what to do? Do you like to write? Well, that’s what I am doing right now since I lost my sleep at 5 am. I have thoughts running through my mind- good thoughts mostly. I am happy and grateful that I have had an amazing week. I ticked another item off my bucket list and I feel so proud of myself.

Perhaps to let you in abit, Yesterday, I went hiking at Ngong Hills.

Ngong hills has seven hills with a magnificent view of the Great Rift Valley. Walking through the Hill was breathtaking. Breathtaking because it was a beautiful place to be and also because I strained as it got tough traversing the hill. Did I mention that I haven’t worked out in ages? And I wore jeans and rubber shoes? I clearly did not think about it when I was making plans to go Hiking. But anyway, I had an amazing experience. I met awesome people. Women doing great things in society. Young Change makers. Men too. I was awed by everything I heard and I feel challenged to do something for the society. As we were having conversations with a few women that I had met for the first time, I realised that we are all connected as humans and we need to make other peoples lives better. You can do that by being kind to another person, Speaking up for those who can’t speak up for themselves, being a leader in your life e.t.c.

It blows my mind when I meet strangers and we connect on a deeper level. That we are vibrating on the same frequency, and understand each other even though we have all had different experiences. You can’t live long enough to experience everything by ourselves, but fortunately we can experience and learn through meeting new people, reading books, watching peoples stories online , documentaries and so on.

June was an amazing month and July has started off on a great note. I already feel that this will be an amazing month.

So here’s my stock taking for this month.

Reading: The LADY,Her LOVER and Her LORD by T.D. Jakes and quite honestly I’m struggling to finish it. This book has a lot of teachings though.

Writing: This blog post now but earlier, I was updating my gratitude journal.

Wanting: A travel bag, swimsuit, passport,sneakers, cute sun glasses,summer dresses, sports wear because I am looking forward to enjoy every bit of my 29th year.

Wishing: I could submit my application for passport without having to wake up at 4:00 or travelling out of Nairobi county. I also wish that I could have my passport by the end of this month.

Celebrating: Milestones. My milestones include Zip lining , Hiking at Ngong Hills, Reading a book every month, Attending a met gala(BAKE Awards), meeting strangers and getting to know them, and making new friends and acquaintances. I wish I would have known earlier that one can have fun in the company of strangers.

Loving: The little steps I am making to become a better version of me.

Feeling: A little pain on my thighs and feet from the hiking I did yesterday but also accomplished and super proud of myself.

Treating: Myself to a face regime. This includes; removing dirt from my face with miscelar water, cleansing with Garnier Foam cleanser;washing,scrubbing, and masking with the 3 in 1 Garnier skin active Charcoal;Toning, applying Vitamin C eye serum from DR. Rashel and lastly moisturizing with Oil free moisture with sunscreen from Neutrogena. This Tender, loving care I have been doing has started to show some results on my face. My skin feels smooth , acne breakouts have reduced and I have a clear skin . Jumia has an anniversary sale that ends in July 14th. Hurry up and get yourself the skin care items at discounted prices.

Waiting: To experience more adventure and so much more.

Dreaming: Only of brighter days. Where I have achieved my dreams and the people I love have also received what they wished for.

Enjoying: Life. Life is for the living.

Learning: A new word. STEALTHING.

Stealthing is the act of removing a condom during sex without the consent of the partner. It’s illegal in many countries, and is a form of sexual assault. Now you know.

Learning: To accept what I can’t change all while being positive and moving forward. I am also learning that mental slavery is real. We are imprisoned by our thoughts. Why do you think that you can’t leave that abusive relationship? Why do you think you are ugly? Why do you think that you are not supposed to ask for better? Why are you coiling back and crying yourself to sleep? Why do you still hate on people? We need to stop this head fuckery. It’s all in your mind. We need to do a mental surgery and get all that nonsense out. You are what you think you are. So you better start thinking that you are beautiful, cool, created for a greater purpose,and that you deserve better. Okay? There are a lot of people who have been through what you are going through and have come out victorious. Ask, seek for help.

Hoping: That one day we will have safe spaces for both men and women to express themselves without being ridiculed and judged. I am glad that we have platforms in place but we still need more. I hope for a Kenya where No one is committing suicide, Where genders are not at war with one another, where both women and men are offered equal spaces to serve this great Nation.

Embracing: Change. Because change is the only constant thing. Change can be disruptive.

Noticing: That saying No is not a bad thing. We need to have boundaries.

Watching: Keeping up with the Kardashians. It seems to be the only thing that I do when my T.V is on.

Needing: A massage and a meal plan because I suck at making meal plans.

Disliking: How someone will notice how I have gained weight but not notice how curvier and beautiful I have become. How they will first comment on my weight but not on the content I post on my blog.

Well I hope you were inspired, educated or entertained. You too can take stock of your July using the same format I did.

Here is a poem just for you.

In meeting we have Friendship

In Friendship we have Sharing

In sharing we have Laughter

In Laughter we have Joy

In Joy we have Happiness

In Happiness we have peace

In peace we have Love

In Love we have unity

In unity we have the Universe

In the Universe we have Infinite Abundance

All is Healthy, Whole and Complete

And So it is.

Annette Clayton

Sending positive vibes and love your way.

May your July be Productive and amazing

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WHEEL OF LIFE

It’s been a good year so far.

Time really flies. We are already on the first day of July. This year has been an exciting one for me. My good days have been more than bad days. The bad days were not so crazy. I haven’t ticked off my year’s resolutions but we are making strides.

Here’s what I have been up to;

Courage is born out of stillness. You have the power. It is in you through christ. It is in you to succeed. No one succeeds without overcoming opposition. Wipe your face,strengthen your back,hold up your head,and survive.

T.D Jakes.

Business, Career & Studies:

I am not where I was was when the year began but I have taken time to learn, unlearn and relearn about some aspects in my career that will help steer me in the right direction. I am not where I want to be but as I hope to continue studying and progressing in my career.

Finance & Wealth:

I set up a financial plan for future growth . I have made some mistakes while at it but that is okay. I am still open to learning more about investing.

Health & Fitness:

This is one area where I have been struggling a lot. My health has not been so good this year, but I am glad that I am improving. While I have been in and out of the hospital, I have gained weight fast due to medication and also due to my poor eating habits. I got a wake-up call last week when I felt so dizzy and had to check into the hospital. I had been ignoring the symptoms. I now have taken initiative to take better care of myself.

Social & Friends:

I haven’t been socializing to my satisfaction. I have been staying indoors a lot. Preferring Netflix and chill over a cup of coffee at Java. However, the few friends I have have been so supportive. I am so blessed to have supportive friends.

Family:

I have the best family. When I count my blessings, I count my family twice. They are always so supportive and I’d like to believe that I am also supportive of them. While I try my best to support them, I make sure that my cup doesn’t run dry. I have since learned that for me to be a better friend, daughter or sibling, I have to take care of my needs and put myself first.

Love:

Do I feel loved? Yes. Do I love myself? Yes

Recreation & Fun

I dared to get out of my comfort zone and met new people, talked to strangers, faced my fear of heights, attended BAKE awards Met Gala, and joined a group of strangers for adventures.

I have plans set up to do more of this in the year. I must say that I am enjoying my life. Even while indoors, I still get to entertain and pamper myself. I am glad that I have reached that point in my life where I am comfortable with being alone and have fun while at it.

Personal Growth:

This is a never-ending journey for me as I am always striving to become a better version of myself. This involves finding myself, finding my way, finding the truth and choosing my struggles. I have had to ask myself difficult questions where often I don’t have the answer right away. So far I am satisfied with the direction I am taking. Trying out new experiences and seeking to learn. The latest new experience was to zip line. You can find the whole story here https://malikamarion.wordpress.com/2019/06/28/ziplining-adventure/

Self-Image:

This is about appreciating, respecting and loving myself while thinking highly of my abilities. I have made great strides in respecting and loving myself. Being kind to myself, speaking life over my life, taking care of my skin, taking care of my mental health and surrounding myself with people that bring joy into my life.

Which area of my life do I primarily want to focus on to enhance my satisfaction levels?

I want to focus more on my health and fitness,finance and wealth ,Business career and studies and personal growth.

I am striving to grow my wheel of life and become a better human being for myself and the ones I love.

You can also try and answer these questions with the guide below that I extracted from a website ; launchyourlifeacademy.com .

Take your time doing this, I would recommend 15 minutes or so. Put yourself in a place with no distractions and reflect on your life as a whole.

  • Business, Career & Studies: Is your career where you want it to be by now? Are you heading in the right direction?
  • Finance & Wealth: Are you earning enough income to satisfy your current needs? Are you financial setup for future growth in wealth?
  • Health & Fitness: How physically healthy are you? Are you satisfied with your level of fitness? Are you satisfied with your diet?
  • Social & Friends: Are your friends supportive of you? Are you engaging friends and socializing to your satisfaction levels?
  • Family: Is your family supportive of you? Are you supportive of your family?
  • Love: Do you feel loved? How often are you expressing love to others?
  • Recreation & Fun: Are you enjoying your life and making it fun? Are you satisfied with the level of activity that you do?
  • Contribution: How would others rate your contribution to society or them as individuals?
  • Personal Growth: How focused are you on personal growth? Are you satisfied with your direction? Are you trying new experiences and seeking to learn?
  • Spiritual: How connected are you to the inner and outer world? Are you satisfied with your relationship with your spiritual being?
  • Self-Image: Do you think of your abilities highly? Do you respect and love yourself? Do you appreciate yourself?

You can find my previous years mid year analysis here https://malikamarion.wordpress.com/2019/06/28/ziplining-adventure/

Sending you love and light.

Where are my biggest gaps in satisfaction levels?


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KEREITA FOREST ZIPLINING ADVENTURE

Last weekend I decided to do something I wouldn’t usually do. First was to attend an event where I was invited but I didn’t know anyone in person, the second was to go and zip line at Kereita Forest with strangers. Zip lining has been on my bucket list for so long , so when I saw, on Facebook, that Reflex Safaris were advertising a weekend gate away, I quickly contacted them and I have no regrets whatsoever. see bucket list here. https://malikamarion.wordpress.com/2019/06/01/whats-on-my-bucket-list/

I woke up at 05:20 in readiness for what would be an awesome day, prepared then arrived in town,at the pick up location at 06:50 am.

We had some delays but managed to leave Nairobi at around 08:30 am . I knew no one in the tour bus but I was able to make friends as the guys at the bus were so friendly. The group was just awesome.

Our first stop over was at the Rift valley view point where we took lots of pictures .

Rift Valley View point.

We then arrived at The Forest , had a team building to bond and familiarise ourselves with each other before we began our hike.

Team building at The forest with Reflex Safaris.

I was ill prepared for the hike but walking in the beautiful forest made me forget about my struggle. I was awed by the beautiful serenity. The forest is alive and astir with life. A deep green carpet covered the entire area. This was the most beautiful place I have been to in a long time. Walking in the forest made me feel close to God and appreciate nature even more.

Hiking at Kereita Forest. Photo Credits: IDECK Photography

After the hike, we went to The Forest Hotel where we took more pictures as we waited for our turn to zip line. It poured for a while but not even the rain would stop us from ziplining.

When the rain eased up, we began to practice for the zip line before going for the real zip line.

The staff at The Forest took us through the safety measures,and addressed our concerns before releasing us for the main zip line . We did two zip lines which were 2 kilo meters each.

I still can’t explain what I felt when I was floating in the air,sliding through a metal rode while wind tried to push me aside. I was high, above the trees. This is a feeling I will remember for a lifetime.

 “The purpose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” –

Eleanor Roosevelt

“Go, fly, roam, travel, voyage, explore, journey, discover, adventure.”

After ticking that( Zip lining) off my bucket list,it was time to make merry. We danced, took photos, had a meal and then cut cake for June Babies.

”Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” 

Mark Twain

I would definitely recommend you to visit The Forest in Kereita. Choose Reflex safaris as your travel partner.

Here’s to trying out new things, adventure,making new friends and learning new things.

 “You must go on adventures to find out where you truly belong.” 

Sue Fitzmaurice

Sending light and love your way.

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THIS IS NOT THE LIFE I ORDERED: REVIEW

“We realize that we have all had “lives we didn’t order.” At times , we would have willingly traded our lives for what was behind door number three , yet we can honestly say that we’re wiser because of our life experiences. And we a richer- richer in spirit, in wisdom and joy.”

When life is not what you ordered, You can learn to begin again. We have all gone through traumatic experiences. You may be at a point in life where you feel like you have hit rock bottom, and you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. It could be through the loss of a loved one,a painful or sudden break up, loss of a job, a terminal illness, an accident, natural disaster, loss of property , bankruptcy, depression ,loss of hope and so much more. I recommend this book for you.

I started reading this( This Is Not the Life I Ordered by Deborah Stephens, Jackie Speier, Michealene Risley and Yan Yanehiro) book on Tuesday 10th June 2019 from midnight while I was at work, thanks to my colleague, Beatrice and finished reading it yesterday, 14th June 2019. This book came at a time when I was going through an emotional meltdown coupled with feelings of betrayal,anger and disappointment. I got so much perspective from reading this book and it has left me full of positive energy and now I feel like I am vibrating on a higher frequency.

The book has 217 pages which makes it quite easy to read. It has an eye friendly font ,hard cover with paper like design on top of cover which makes it even more appealing to the eye.

Jackie Spier who is one of the authors of this book was a young Congressional Aide at the age of 28 years when disaster struck. As a young career woman, Jackie s life changed when she ,together with other members of the congress were attacked at an airstrip while waiting to board a plane from Gayana where they had gone to visit the Peoples temple after allegations that people were being held there against their will. They were attacked by armed gun me and it was reported that there was a mass massacre. Her Congressman Ryan died after being sprayed with bullets 45 times. She was shot five times at a point blank range and left to die . She realised that her life was almost over and promised herself that she would never ever take life for granted. She was airlifted to hospital 22 hours later, underwent a couple of surgeries and rebuild her life. She was instrumental in passing of Gun laws in Carlifonia. she is not afraid of anything because she had met death. She has lived to vie for Senator, lives to tell her story and together with her other 3 co authors have made remarkable strides and have shared stories of inspiration of themselves and other women who have gone through tumultuous times. They tell their stories in a powerful way. Real life stories. Stories we can relate to, Stories I never wish to experience.

Together they talk about the loss of spouses, loss of a child to drug abuse, loss of property, dealing with spouses unfaithfulness, loss of employment, lack of a sense of well being to how they rose again and have remarried, found love again, amended relationships, inspired and influenced people positively through their experiences, rose above job ranks and still remain positive and continue to soldier on and thrive. They give us their honest opinions of how they felt and how they made that 180 degree turn to change their life for better. Improving the quality of their life.

From this book I see how women can empower each other and be there for each other so that we can all live a better quality of life. I am in awe of courage and resilience.

This book basically empowers us with 50 ways to keep our heads above the water when life keeps dragging us down.

Below are my favorite quotes from the book.

It’s the friend you call up at four o’clock in the morning that really matters.

Surviving and thriving meant reinventing; building and realizing that success was never final and failure was never fatal. It meant putting our best foot forward( Nike for some, Nine west for others) no matter what, and walking. Walking forward, looking like a pillar of success on the outside while that tiny voice inside reminded us that our teenagers were out of control, our job would end tomorrow, and our spouses, colleagues and bosses had been untruthful, selfish,unfaithful or just plain stupid.

There are two ways of meeting difficulties: You alter the difficulties or you alter yourself meeting them.

Whether one is twenty , forty, sixty; whether one has succeeded,failed or just muddled along;whether yesterday was full of sun or storm,or one of those dull days with no weather at all, life begins again each morning in the heart of a woman.

Although there may be tragedy in your life,there’s always a possibility to triumph. It doesn’t matter who you are, where you come from. The ability to triumph begins with you. Always.

I postpone death by living ,by suffering ,by error,by risking,by loving.

Challenges make you discover things about yourself that you never really knew. They’re what make the instrument stretch . What make you go beyond the norm.

Through the experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened,vision cleared,ambition inspired and fight restored.

I’ve learned that no matter what happens,or how bad it seems today, that life does go on and it will be better tomorrow. This I am certain.

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned ,the hard way,that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning,middle and end. Life is about not knowing,having to change,taking the moment and making the best of it without knowing what’s going to happen next.

If you ask me what i came into this world to do, I will tell you: I came to live my life out loud.

The truer you are to yourself,the less conflicted you will be in life

Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living; the other helps you make a life

Realise that nothing happens right away. Stay with your dream and live close to your beliefs.

Dreams usually don’t come about in the way that you first visualise them,so don’t expect them to. Be open to new opportunities and ideas. Reality is too complicated,and surprise is half the fun!

Seek cooperators in your dream. Dreams rarely survive their origin without evolution to a broader ownership. Get your ideas out in the universe and see who they inspire

Courage doesn’t always Roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying; I will try again tomorrow

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms or books that are written in a foreign tongue. The point is to love everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually,without noticing it,live your way some distant day into the answers.

Hope does not arise from being told to think positively. Hope is the elevating feeling we experience when we see in the minds eye a path to a better future. The path acknowledges the significant obstacles and deep pitfalls and it has no room for delusion. Hope gives us the courage to confront our circumstances and the capacity to surmount them. We are just beginning to appreciate the power of hope and have not defined its limits. I see hope at the very heart of healing.

Remember that people come and go, and of all the people in your life, you are the one who is there to stay. You are the one who can choose to love yourself,choose to respect yourself, and promise with all your heart and soul that you will never leave you.

Greatness is not measured by what a woman accomplishes,but by the opposition she has had to overcome to reach her goals.

Life is what we make it. Always has been and always will be

If you really want something,you can figure out how to make it happen.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness,that frightens us.

I read and walked miles at night along the beach,writing bad verse and searching endlessly for someone wonderful who would step out of darkness and change my life. It never crossed my mind that person could be me

I urge you all to get a copy of this book and get inspired. There is a tool kit to in the book to help you as you begin to make positive changes in your life.

Happy fathers day to all responsible fathers out there.

Have an inspiring weekend.

Sending love and light.

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WHAT’S ON MY BUCKET LIST

But first , I hope you are all having a restful weekend and enjoying your Madaraka day for my fellow Kenyans.

History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it. Winston Churchill

So in no particular order;

To visit Holywood.

To give birth to twins. I don’t know why i feel like if i have to have a child in future, i would wish to have twins.

I would love to sit in a boardroom as the C.E.O.

Ziplining, bungee jumping, sky diving has been on my bucket for ages. I imagine that this would give me the adrenaline rush, some sense of freedom and just adventure. To have that feeling of floating on air. Oh my.

Attend a Beyonce , Sauti Sol, Rihanna concert as VVIP.

To be that girl that flies first class frequently.

To visit Jerusalem, Mauritius, Singapore, Paris, Rwanda, Ethiopia,South Africa, Egypt and Dubai.

To spend a week or a few days at a five star beach hotel, alone.

Learn how to dance Salsa,Tango,Ballet,and some Lingala.

To learn how to swim and be less afraid of water.

To own a home of my dreams.

To own a car of my own dreams.

To have a life partner. You know, someone to do life with.

To have my own family.

To have a huge following on this blog. You can help me achieve this my sharing my content to your friends.

To own a PR firm.

To learn how to play the piano and violin.

To have a selfie with Oprah Winfrey, Beyonce, Michelle Obama, Rihanna, Caroline Mutoko and Janet Mbugua.

To have loooooong natural hair. If this ever happens, i will have arrived.

To own charity foundations aimed at helping the less fortunate and impact peoples lives positively.

To be sought after to endorse brands.

To be a brand .

To have a wardrobe the size of my crib.

To never worry about my finances.

To be known as the greatest woman that ever lived.

Most of the things worth doing in the world had been declared impossible before they were done. Louis D. Brandeis

Whats on your bucket list?

When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps. Confucious

https://www.facebook.com/MisssMalika


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TURN ON THE LOUD MUSIC

Picture by JoyBeryl.

Let me tell you a story,
A tale of how I died.
Shattered heart and a broken soul
The spirit is wanting
The body is decaying
I can't put enough of what I feel in words.

Pain in disguise
Fading hopes, accumulated sorrow
Today my life is my cell,
Sorrows being my shell.
I know tomorrow,
Just like today and yesterday,
Another miserable day.

So today I cry, how life has been bitter,
I cry to the dark,
Whose engulfing of black.
With an eerie silence of bad luck,
I cry on the pillows, that feels cold every night.
To my heart, sole and sanguine in fear.
Of the quietness of my heart, I shed a tear.

Rejecting a drinking party,
Rather deciding to eject myself from the world of mortals,
And spend the long lonely night,
With a gun in my hand and a bottle to my mouth.
Turn on the loud music.
By; JoyBeryl
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MY NIGHTMARE

By Abwao Joyberyl

Close your eyes,

Look.

What do you see?

I bet it’s dark

Now concentrate.

On the darkness.

Now, what do you see?

As mine are shut,

I see fear

I see pain

I feel pain

A bitter tear down my cheek

Want to know why?

I may not be able to tell you how i’m broken.

But at least, i try cleaning my scars

In between, i felt the depth and pain

Only but a tear to scream the pain.

I may be young, charismatic, but not dumb to tell when it hurts.

Maybe what hurts me the most is the picture in my head

Maybe it’s the mistakes i always avoid to make

Maybe it’s the fears i create in my mind

Maybe it’s the voice inside that stands in between my way

Maybe what hurts me the most is me.

I feel so dead but alive

So in pain

So unconcious

I’m breathing life away

It’s hard to keep on keeping on

Don’t even know which way is up,just keep spinning down, around and down.

Welcome to my nightmare.

This piece was written by my kid sister Joy.

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DEAR FUTURE HUSBAND

Dear Future husband,

I want to let you know that i am not an easy woman to love. I have a tendency of holding things back. I speak my mind . I am hard on myself sometimes. I take time to make decisions and stick to them. I am learning to love myself more, to believe in myself ,to accept the things i can’t change about myself, to handle my insecurities and to believe in a power greater than the universe but i have lots of love to give.

I asked God to give me a Husband who would bring me closer to Him.

I am in no way a perfect person. I have my flaws and so do you. I don’t expect you to be perfect all the time. No man is perfect.

I want you to know that i am happy right now as a single 29 year old who lives in a small one bedroom apartment and eats bread and strong tea for dinner more times than i care to admit. I love my job. I love to write. I love to take pictures.I love to dance. I love my family and crazy friends. I love staying indoors , watching movies, road trips, adventure. I Hang out sometimes. I want you to know that my life has purpose apart from and before you. When we do meet one day, I want you to understand that I do not expect you to complete me, or to be my God. That’s way too much pressure for anyone to bear. I am already complete.

I want us to have intellectual conversations. To have silly conversations. To speak positively into each others life. I want to help you chase your dreams. I want to be your partner, not your slave or prize.

Dear Future Husband, Home cooked meals are great but i am not enthusiastic about being in the kitchen all the time . Don’t get me wrong, i am a good cook. I like to cook but not every time.

Dear future Husband, I am a career woman. I work weird hours. I love to work hard and earn my own money. With my career comes responsibilities and sacrifices. Be ready to sleep alone some nights when i am away at work. Be ready to accept that i will be coming home after midnight because my job demands me to. Lets not fight about my career because its part of me. It makes me who i am.

Dear future husband, i expect you to help around the house with chores. I will not pretend to be super woman. Ours will be a partnership. I hold you when you are down and you hold me too when i am down. I expect you to not have a problem with playing and bonding with your kids, changing their diapers, bathing them, reading them story books, and telling them stories. I would love it if my kids have a good relationship with their father. I want us to be great parents to our children if it will be in Gods plan for us to have children. I want them to know God and be inspired in life just by watching us.
I pray God will bless us with the patience, compassion, and love to be the best parents that we could possibly be .

I want our home to be our safety zone, area of comfort, love ,peace and worship. I was brought up in a home full of love. I will not condone physical,verbal or mental abuse. Your hands will only be used to protect, provide ,lift,comfort,or love us and so will mine.

I want our marriage to be full of laughter, joy, adventure,praise and love. I want to travel the world with you. To experience life with you. To worship God with you.

Dear husband, my philosophy in life is to live,laugh and love. All i want is a simple life. A loving family and friends will do. The rest we will achieve together.

Please note that i can BE CRAZY. Never forget that.
I can be stubborn. I will be blunt and completely honest with you, even when you don’t want to hear it.  I can be smiling one minute and be mad the next. I can be a bit dramatic. If I wake you up in the middle of the night from crying or sheer worry, just be gentle with me. Play my hair. Give me a good massage. Kiss me until I calm down. If none of that works – you’re just going to have to suck it up. Just a heads up, and I apologize in advance.

I promise to try and be understanding and patient with you. To respect you and help you grow.
I can’t wait to make the memories that last a lifetime. I can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together. Life is going to be a roller coaster, but it will be the best ride of our lives.

See you soon my love.

Your future loving wife.

❤

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AN OPEN LETTER TO ”ACADEMIC DWARFS”

This is for those who are always at the bottom of the class when exam results are out, those who failed in exams, those who had to repeat a year because of poor performance, those who had to sit for supplementary exams to be able to get to the next year,those who never seem to perform well despite doing their best, those whose parents or teachers have given up on them academically. Those who have been called academic dwarfs, Good for nothing,the bottom ten, the dump ones,academic losers, and any other term you have been referred to.

First, i want you to know that i have walked in your shoe. I have been both top and bottom of my class so i do understand what it feels like to be at the bottom when results are out. I totally understand how shameful and discouraging it is to be known for not performing well. How embarrassing it is to be asked what you got in a particular subject, how scary it is to present your report card to your no nonsense parents or guardians,t,o be called a dander head. To be termed Stupid. To be used an an example of ways to fail. I get it. Life is difficult. The pressure to be the brightest or the coolest is overwhelming.

You feel worthless, that nothing good can come from you, your parents only wish that you can get an average score so that they are able to push you to another level, while those who don’t have able parents, their future is ‘bleak”( so they say) . It’s even sad when you are female for some parents will only hope that you get a rich man to marry you and some threaten to marry you off to the nearest suitor.

Look,this world is mysterious and hard to navigate. I’m a Banker. I studied Journalism, went to do a practical course on Film production and Citizen journalism after Campus which flopped along the way hence i found myself at a Vihiga High School Library Arranging books . I am also a blogger and i love to motivate people. I sometimes have a difficult time trying to figure stuff out , figure myself out or navigate this world. I write to Inspire but often times i can’t even inspire myself.

Did i know that i would one day end up here? Never, i didn’t even know if i would go to University. Which i did. What i have learnt is that i knew how to get through bad days and bad results. How do i know this, Because i’m here now and i have still not arrived. ”Never arrive ” remains my mantra. I am still learning and still battling and you are too so lets start from here;

Photo Credits: Google

I am here to tell you otherwise. Your future is not bleak. You are worthy,You are Intelligent,You are beautiful, You can be whatever you want to be. Your worth is not pegged on some exam result, neither is your future. Sure, it is important to pass exams but that is not everything. There is more to life than your mean grade. You can achieve whatever you set your mind to achieve despite those results.

Photo Credits: Google

I know of some of my peers who did not seem to do well in school and are doing well out here. I am on the right course despite having flopped in some exams. I am not asking you to just be comfortable and not do your best in school. By all means, work hard, work smart, be consistent in studying, do your best and whatever happens you know you did your best,but should the results come out and they are not what you expected, know that that is life and it doesn’t end there. You still have a very bright and promising future ahead.

Outside the classroom, you will need more than your papers to achieve. You will need to have the right attitude. Practice that now. Develop the right attitude towards your teachers, your subjects, your self worth, your school and wait to see the magic! This is one thing i wish i knew back in High school, I would have walked with my head high every day.

You future depends on you. You create the world you want to live in. Do not stop dreaming at any point in life. Do not stop making plans and having visions . Always Believe in yourself. You are much more than you can imagine. You are destined for greatness. You are not what your teachers or Lecturers think you are, You are not what your classmates think you are, You are who you think you are. So, please start by re affirming yourself, develop a positive mindset, improve your personality, walk with your head high,dress well, learn to speak well, develop a skill, find your passion or talent and practice it, be good at it,learn something new everyday, read something everyday,ask questions , dream, make a list, envision where you want to be in 3 years, write it down, discover who you are. There is a lot that you can achieve in this world.

You were born for a purpose. Don’t give up until you discover what your purpose in life is. You might not be good at Business Studies but you are good at writing or story telling, believe me when i tell you that you can use that which you are good at to soar. Take the skill, sharpen it,and use it to empower yourself and others. We can’t all be Doctors, We can’t all be Lawyers..This world would be boring! We all need each other with our different talents and skills to make this world a better place.

You have to understand that you are you for a reason so be your biggest cheer leader. There is no one like you, There will never be anyone like you so be proud of who you are because you are a precious being, a most prized possession. You are here for a reason. You were placed here on earth to make an impact. So when you are having a bad day, you are being bullied , jeered or made fun of, remember that you are not what people think you are. Peoples perception of you does not define you in any way. Do you.

This is how you get through college or high school, do what you love. Your passion may be your purpose in life. Maybe you love to act, maybe you love to write, to sing, to draw, to model, to motivate others,to play football or rugby, to talk. Do it. Practise it . Be consistent at it. You never know how far you can go with your talent. We have seen many people making an impact to society through modelling like Cecilia Mwangi founding the anti jigger campaign, the likes of Mariga and Rudisha who have placed Kenya on the scope through their talent.

Get out of your comfort zone. Try out new things. When faced with a dilemma and a hitch remember that You can. You will. Always remember that you have all it takes to get to where you want. Yes you can.

As i am signing off, i hope you know that school is just a season but learning continues even after graduation. Life is a book of lessons. You will not always have the answers but somehow you will make it. So Never give up. Don’t let bad experiences in school destroy you, Don’t let poor results kill your hope of excelling because you will excel. Don’t let peoples opinion of you get in your head and distract you from knowing who you really are.

Take it a day at a time. Do your best. You can. You will.

Sending love and Light your way.

Develop/ improve your personality.

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MY THOUGHTS ON HEARTBREAKS

Everyone gets their heart broken at some point in life. It’s not a good experience but it’s an experience we have all had to deal with in life. How one chooses to deal with it is what makes or breaks them.

NB.. I am not a relationship coach . I am writing from my perspective and experience.

Here is what you should know about heartbreaks;

It’s just part of life. The people you love most will probably cause you the most pain. The deeper you love someone, the more painful the heartbreak will be.

It shows that you are human and that you have feelings.. Do I need to expound this?

Its Gods/ the universe way of warning or cautioning you. It’s an indicator that you need to take a step back and think twice.

It shapes your destiny. You wouldn’t be where you are now where it not for the heartbreak. You would never have met your awesome spouse had you not been heartbroken by your ex. You wouldn’t be stronger or resilient were it not for that experience that caused your heart to be broken.

It sharpens your mind. You will be able to look out for yourself more in future. You will be able to know red flags when you see them . You become aware.

It shows that you need to start a new chapter in life or end a chapter in life.

You get to know more about yourself in the process,Like how you process negative information, how you choose to react and go about the whole incident.

It enables you to go back to the drawing board and really analyse what you want and how you want to live your life.

You learn that starting all over again or picking up the pieces is a good thing.

It shows that the best is yet to come.

It helps you find solutions to underlying problems.

It helps you to recognise areas in life that you need to change or balance.

You learn to forgive yourself and other people.

You learn to love yourself again.

Having learnt why heartbreaks can be good for you, it’s only fair for me to tell you how to get over it.

Cry. If you need to, cry all you want. It’s okay to cry.

Confide in a friend you trust. Talk to them and let them be there for you as you heal.

Forgive yourself.

Forgive those who wronged you.

Let them go. Holding on to them makes you feel worse.

Take time away from social media. Do not contact your ex at this point. Do not stalk him/ her.

Cut off communication with them. Do not frequent places the both of you loved to go. This allows you time to heal and get over them.

Work out. Go out for a run or jog. Physical activity tends to make you feel better about yourself plus you get in good shape which is a good thing for you.

Spoil yourself. Buy yourself gifts, go out on holiday, prepare a delicious meal for yourself, do a facial,Mani pedi, full body makeover, a massage . Be careful not to overspend.

Hang out with friends who make you laugh.

Read. Books take you to another world and make you realise that the world doesn’t revolve around you.

Do a house makeover. Do a bedroom or a living room make over.

Get involved in charity. Helping those in need helps you feel better about yourself . You realise that there are many people in this world whose life is impacted positively by you through charity . It also helps you use your time wisely instead of feeling sad about what happened to you.

Put away stuff that will remind you of him or her.

Make a vision board. It’s exciting. And you can create whatever your mind perceives.

Encourage yourself. Speak to yourself in front of the mirror. As weired as it sounds, it does work and helps you feel better. Tell yourself. ” I am beautiful, I am strong, I am intelligent, I am worthy, I deserve more,I can do this, I am destined to live a marvellous life”.

Get a hobby. Do something you love doing.

Learn something new. Learn to write a poem or an article, learn a musical instrument, learn a dance move,learn a recipe. There is a lot to learn.

Allow yourself to go through all the emotions. You will feel sad, angry, lonely but it’s okay. It part of the process. Just don’t go back to what broke you.

See a counsellor or phycologists if it helps. It will help you figure things out and also relieve you of the burden.

Take it a day at a time. Time heals all wounds.

You are going to be okay.

I hope this makes sense to you and gives you hope that better days are coming. No one is immune to heartbreak. It’s just part of life.

Do not take your life because of rejection or anything whatsoever. God created you for a purpose so you are worthy.

You were given this burden because you are strong enough to carry it. You will also realise that whatever problem you are facing ,someone else has faced it before and overcame it ,therefore ,you can overcome yours too.

If you are a christian, you may want to be close to God through this time. Praying heals the soul and brings peace and hope. Take it all to the Lord in prayer. Cast all your burdens unto Him.

Sending you love and light.

I pray that you are granted peace, peace that surpacess all human understanding. It is well.

Have a blessed night..

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HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Happy new year! I hope this new year found you well and that you had an amazing Christmas.

I am happy and grateful to be alive today.

2018 was a great year for me and my loved ones. It was the year we received three new family members( nephews). Blessings on top of blessings.

I look forward to have a blessed 2019 too. This is a year of positive change, open heavens, blessings, good health,adventure, prosperity, laughter and lots of peace.

This is the year i will be interacting with my readers on a new level too. I hope to have bold and candid conversations, Influence positive change, and impact people positively through my blogs here.

I am so grateful for having you all as my reader. Thank you for sharing this journey with me. We will do more amazing things together this year.

Please let me know about any topics that you would like me to talk about this year.


Wishing you and your family good health, happiness,
success and prosperity in the coming year!
Have a great start to a great year!”

Cheers.

So, Here’s is how i spend my December 2018 in pictures.

Nephews birthday with my siblings ,two in laws , nephews and niece.
photo shoot with my sisters ,nephews and niece.
Birthday cake from my colleagues at work.
Visited Happy Life Childrens home with Kukuza Sacco


“Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.”

Marcel Proust

I also received a spa dreaming voucher and i had a time of my life at Hilton Hotel. I received a Swedish massage, pampered myself at the sauna, steam and enjoyed my meal at the pool restaurant. I will definitely use spa dreaming again. Check out spadreaming.com for amazing offers.

I am so grateful to everyone who put a smile on my face in 2018. I do not take it for granted .

Sending love and light your way.

Happy new year 2019!!

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WRAPPING UP MY 20’S.

Its my birthday! I just turned 29 years today and i am excited to celebrate another trip around the sun.  I made plans for my big day and ended up not doing anything about it  at all. This has been a great year. Though i didn’t achieve everything i had set out to achieve, but no worries! I am happy and grateful that the year has been good to me.

I am happy and grateful for all that i have and all that i am able to do at this point in my life.  This later years of my 20s have been my very favorite. I have been on an interesting journey of figuring out who i am and who i want to be, and why i even exist. haha.

  • My being alive and healthy today is as a result of none other than the almighty God. I’ll forever be grateful to you, God. On my special day, I wish myself happiness and great accomplishments in the coming year.
  • By the special grace of the one who created me, this new age I am will bring joy and prosperity into my life, now and forever. Thank you Lord for sparing my life
Little black dress from a thrift shop 


Here’s how my year was;

FAMILY

This year, two of my siblings were blessed with baby boys. So i have two nephews.!!Double blessings in one year! 

I have seen friends start their own families, have children and i joined them in celebrating their baby showers, baby visits and weddings. It is an awesome time to be alive this year and see the people i love prosper.

RELATIONSHIPS

“We go through life discovering the truth about who we are and determining who has earned  the right to share the personal space within our heart.” Oprah Winfrey.

I have gained and lost friends this year.  I am especially grateful for the friends and networks i made this year. I found people who inspired me, made me a better person and gave me new insights. I have traveled the world through peoples life stories and got to understand people better through my social interactions.

I learnt the importance of choosing the people i constantly relate to. The relationships we form will cause us to excel or fail. I choose to be connected to people who inspire me, bring out the best in me, are positive minded and have what i want to have or achieve. People who will expose me to levels that i have never seen, people who are soaring. These people are instrumental in my rising higher and i believe that they are destiny connectors, people God places on your path to enable you soar to greater heights.

BOOKS.

I have done well in this sector. I think i have done more than 10 books which is quite commendable for me.  The books that touched me the most were; Left to Tell by immaculee ,The last black unicorn by Tiffany hardy, At peace in the light, Smart Money woman by Arese Ugwu,On Becoming and  A letter to my daughter by Maya Angelou.

These books inspired me because they were written by strong women. Women who overcame adversities to become who they are. I was inspired by At peace in the Light because of curiosity. I was curious to know what happens when someone dies, and where people who died go to.

FINANCES

 I began to be money conscious this year. I learnt about the different ways  to save and invest money. I also learnt to live within my means and be comfortable with what i have. 

I also learnt to say No. I just refused to spend my money in projects i did not believe in. I learnt to be vocal about my wants and stopped straining myself so as to be acceptable.  I am not where i want to be but i am slowly learning the ropes and bettering myself in this area.

CELEBRATIONS

I got to celebrate milestones.  This year i was honored and blessed to be able to partake in the blessings that flowed from all angles of my life. My siblings had kids,  a huge number of my girlfriends had babies this year,( its like there was a memo that i didn’t get),some moved to better houses, others traveled overseas, others got job promotions,salary increments ,others got married, some started businesses . This to me was such an incredible year. I will not be able to count all the blessings one by one as they are too much.  I believe that the more blessed my circle is, the more blessed i am. I am so proud of everyone who made it this year.

ENVISAGING 29

I have no big plans for this year. Just little steps and changes to enable me be a better person.

This year is the year i live.  Living,loving,travelling, working. The year i decide to be more thankful and mindful to my needs and the needs of others. I stop letting my age or society dictate what i should or should not do.  I want to live while i am still alive. 

This year i learn to trust God more and let His will be done. All my cares and troubles unto Him i roll.

My gratitude goes to everyone who made me have a memorable year: those who reached out whenever i needed them, those who held me with their prayers, Those who made me laugh and shed tears of joy and those who have always wished me the best of luck. I see you. I am grateful for having you in my life. Thank you for contributing to making my life a better one.

Happy birthday to someone amazing, talented, beautiful, smart, yes that’s just it, I am celebrating myself today—happy birthday to me!

Sending love and light.

Because i have been gravitating towards blac
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GET TO KNOW ME

When you get to know me, I don’t despair – I just get up, clean up, and start again.

Avi Arad

Full name: Malika Marion

Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius.

Three fears i have: That i may not live to accomplish my dreams; that i may not be living to my fullest potential; That i may not  be doing enough to add value to the courses i care about or the  people i love.

Reason i started blogging: To share my thoughts, influence someone’s life positively through my experiences, thoughts and because  i can.

How i feel right now:  I feel grateful to be alive and healthy today. Grateful that the people I care about are also alive and healthy.

Three things that make me happy:  A good book, a nice song, an epic movie , delicious meal and good company.

My favorite store:  Any clothing store. Mtumba being my favorite.

Something i fantasize about: A day in my life in the near future. Like a day in my life in 2028. I have a clear picture .

Number of kids i want: not more than three kids, maybe twins. So if you have that twin gene, hit my inbox.

My best friend:  I have a few awesome friends.

 Turn offs: Insecurity, low self esteem, selfishness,poor communication.

 Turn ons’: eloquence, confidence, intelligence,style and hygiene.

My relationship status: I do not have a status….yet.

Favorite song:  Currently Four days Late by Juliet S. ( Isn’t it great,when He is four days late, He is always on time).

Favorite band: Currently Le Band.

My relationship with my parents:  It’s great. We have an open communication,have fun sometimes . A week doesn’t pass without speaking to both of them, actually two days don’t go by without us communicating.

What i fid attractive in other people:  Ability to be who they are and honesty.

Three things i love:  My family, friends,and myself of course.

Three habits i have:  Sleeping on the couch, talking non stop( hehehe), not having clothes on while indoors.

Something i’m talented at: I am really good at counselling. Offering unsolicited advice, hehehe. Like the motivational ones. The ones that make you feel good about yourself.

My idea of a perfect date: A day out watching a play,dance,drum jam, musical performance,dance concert or an outdoor event that does not include running. Because running is for emergencies.

Favorite food:  I have no favorite food at the moment. I still want to explore more.

What i did yesterday: slept for over 7 hours, watched a movie i did not understand( Condor), nursed cramps, went to work  and came back home to sleep.

Favorite animals: Cows. The one that produces milk. The consequence of coming from a family of farmers.

Last time a cried. Two Sundays ago. A church members testimony just broke my heart.

Three things that annoy me easily: Dishonesty, poor communication, divided attention. This girl loves attention.

Go to inspirational meetings, get to know men and women who are doing inspiring things. Above all, run as hard as you can from the cynics and gripers and the negativists. They are not going anywhere. You are.

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HOW JOURNALING HAS IMPROVED MY LIFE

The true purpose of illustrated journaling [is] to celebrate your life. No matter how small or mundane or redundant, each drawing and little essay you write to commemorate an event or an object or a place makes it all the more special.” 

I started keeping a journal back in 2014 but started doing it seriously in 2015 after a friend gifted me with a diary. My journaling was influenced by a movie called ‘The secret’ where the author insisted that for one to get what he or she wants, she needs to put those thoughts and desires into writing.

I began by writing grateful journals. This is by writing things I was grateful for everyday and every month then write down things I wished I could have. Then I started writing down my budgets lists,everything I wished to purchase and its level of importance, my deepest thoughts and desires and now I write about everything. I still continue to write journals on things I am grateful for today.

My Journey on journaling has come a long way and I am grateful for the experience. It’s amazing that when I look back at my journals back in 2015, I received nearly everything I wished for back then.

Journaling has improved my life positively.

“I journal my joy, and my joy expands exponentially forevermore. So be it.” ― Amy Leigh Mercree, Joyful Living:

It has helped me set and achieve goals. For instance, At the beginning of the year, my fitness goal was to reduce at least 4 kgs.  I have since lost 3kgs and I hope to lose more and keep fit and healthy.

Journaling has helped me organise all areas of my life.

I have my journal in segments; Things I am grateful for…I write down everything  I am thankful for, right from waking up , being alive, commuting safely, provision,career e.t.c, then I write down things I would want to have /achieve and have sections i.e career goals, family goals, health and fitness, finance, travel and adventure, need to have purchase items from most important to least important.

Journaling has helped me to live in the now.

I no longer regret my past and not worry too much about the future but I only delve in the past and future for planning and referencing. I live today to the fullest enjoying everything I do because I know it’s the journey that matters to me, so i need to enjoy the ride.

Writing in a journal reminds you of your goals and of your learning in life. It offers a place where you can hold a deliberate, thoughtful conversation with yourself. Robin S. Sharma

Captures life story.

Journaling has helped me to capture my family and personal story. My journals alone could tell my story and that of my family. My troubled memories have been soothed through my journaling  and as I look back as see all these as part of my life story that was intended to happen .

Knowing myself and my truth better.

I have been able to understand different aspects of myself by reading my journals. Through journaling, I am able to keep a record of my past,identify my values,read my own mind,connect  to the bigger picture, reveal different aspects of myself, get rid of the masks i wear,clarify my  thoughts,feelings and behaviour,and help me feel better about myself.

Healing

Writing down my thoughts ,feelings and behaviors has helped me to heal from my past. I am able to recall and reconstruct past events in an honest, trusting and non judgmental way. I am also able to act as my own counselor after reading my thoughts and learn trends in my behavior and feelings.

Easy problem solving

I am able to connect the dots and find solutions through journaling. For instance; If I wish to lose weight i write down reasons why i need to lose weight then I go ahead and track everything I eat and the exercises I do. This helps to know what i indulge in, what I should reduce or cut off, what I should consume, the excercises I  should do and so forth. By journaling about my health and fitness struggles, I am able to also find solutions that will impact my life positively.

Personal growth.

I have seen immense growth through journaling. For a first, I am able to express then create my desires.

Journaling has enabled me to unfold the writer in me. I started journaling long before I started this blog. I get my blogging ideas through my journals.

I am able to measure and track what is important in my life.

I have created more results in my life. This is where the law of attraction works. You attract what you think. I write down what I think and guess what, sometimes i don’t even work towards getting what i wish for but i just get it.

I am able to express myself through my journal and this has enhanced my personal growth.

Basically, we all journal for different reasons and there is no one cure for all. I earlier started journaling  to self reflect , stay positive and grateful but now I have so many reasons as to why I journal.

Journaling has so many pros to it and I would wish that you journal your life for whatever reason you have.

Do you keep a journal? How has journaling improved your life?

I take photos, I used to make films, I journal incessantly, and I really value the documentation of life. Because it’s almost like you are making something special by wanting to make it exist in an object – on paper or even just in the computer – making these recordings, making this music. Lucy Dacus

Sending love and positive vibes.♥♥♥♥♥

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TAKING STOCK JULY 2018

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photo credits; google

Good morning you majestic being,

I have not been motivated to write or read this past month. I have just been there, with my normal life routine. Work, gym ,home or  church ,home or  work, hang outwith some colleagues , home.

As much as I feel like I didn’t do anything extra, I must stay that I have had quite a good month. June was a blessed month. I was consistent with gym, worked out at least twice a week and tried to watch what I eat. The great thing is results are beginning to show on my body. I ditched the scale but I feel really sexy and confident and my clothes fit me well, especially those clothes that were too tight.

So here’s my stock for this month.

Drinking water to stay hydrated. I am already seeing its positive effect on my skin.

Appreciating  the people who make my life better.

Deciding to  be take 100% control over my life. My thoughts, my decisions, my feelings, my reactions will solely be influenced by me and not anyone else around me.

Thinking about how blessed I am to be alive today.

Listening to classical music for brain power- Mozzart effect. I’ll tell you if this works because I am going through a writers block.

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photo credits:google

Reading about the compound effect by Darren. I have been too slow in reading this book. I actually never finished reading the book ‘TO BE THE BEST’, I just didn’t like it. I would attribute my sluggishness to my new working out schedule that leaves me super exhausted at the end of the day and all I do is go straight to bed when I get home.

Writing about my childhood memories. The brain is such an amazing part of the human body. Its ability to make us remember who we were in the past and lets us see the milestones we have made in life is truly magnificent.

Wanting to be physically fit, healthier, and happier. I am all about positive vibes ,body confidence and good health.

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Making little changes in my habits that will change my behavior positively. Starting with things as simple as washing dishes while preparing meals so I don’t have to dread going back to the kitchen because you know…

Wishing I could be more consistent and be brave enough to just start whatever I had thought of starting. I should just stop procrastinating already.

Celebrating friendships. Those friends who just call to find out if you are okay are for keeps.

Loving that I am in a place  that I once wished for and I am truly thankful for it. Now I am dreaming bigger because I know that my dreams are valid.

Feeling certain that everything will work out well eventually.

Treating myself with work outs. hehehe… The process is painful but the feeling after is just amazing. Plus I will thank my 28 year old self later this year.

Waiting for nothing. I have stopped waiting. This past month has had a lot of plot twists and turns and my perception about some things have changed, so i’m no longer living in air plane mode.

Dreaming of the days when I have finally accomplished about 90% of whats in my bucket list . Will I be happy? Will I feel accomplished? Will I have more dreams? Will I change?  We will see.

Enjoying every moment of my life.

Learning to be disciplined  and consistent in everything I put myself to do. I know that I will not be motivated most of the time but consistency and discipline will get me results.

Hoping that these little changes will be part of my lifestyle.

Embracing life. Life is fluid. It comes with ups and downs. Learning how to go about it is what will make or break me and I choose to live to my fullest potential regardless of what life throws at me.

Noticing how comfortable I am in my own skin.

Watching nothing in particular that fascinates me.

Pondering on ways achieve more results and have fun while at it.

Needing rest. I am so sleepy and exhausted right now.

Disliking the fact that I have been procrastinating too much and that’s my fault.

That’s it for now. Have you tried to take stock of your life? How was your experience?

Have a lovely July. Keep warm. Wishing you happiness and health always.

Sending positive vibes and love.♥♥♥♥

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TAKING STOCK JUNE 2018

I’m working on a new me not because the old me is  bad but because the old me can improve.

How are you blessed people. I am so glad to be here right now and to  let you in my life. Nothing exciting  happened the past month. I have been working 8 to 5, my sister and nephew visited me and I had a time of my life with them. I also  went to hang out with friends for the first time this year  and i had a lot of fun.

So here’s my stock for this month.

Drinking water to stay hydrated. I am already seeing its positive effect on my skin.

Appreciating  the little milestones I’m making in life.

Deciding to  be more positive and speak positivity  over my life.

Thinking about topics of interest that my readers would want me to write about. How about you tell me what you would want me to write about?

Listening to Sheila Lives out loud on You tube by Sheila Mwanyiga. If you love to listen to stories that touch your heart subscribe to her channel. You are guaranteed to be empowered, inspired and so much more.

Reading to be the best by Barbra Taylor. I am still struggling to find out what this book is really about. I haven’t been reading or writing a lot the past month and I have no excuse for it!

Writing down my daily expenses to help me keep track of my expenses and know where my money goes to.

Wanting to be physically fit. I finally started going to the gym and my body is really sore right now. I love the feeling I get when I sweat then have a  warm shower and go to bed  feeling fresh. I sleep soundly and I already feel sexy even though this is my fourth day to gym and results are not yet visible.

 I will not starve for this, but I will work hard for this. It may take longer doing it the healthy and right way. But it will last longer this way. I will be better and I will be happy.

Making the most of my time while on night shift.

Wishing I could be more consistent with physical fitness. I am working at it.

Celebrating the gift of life,love,family, friendships,provision et cetera.

Loving life and everything that comes with it.

Feeling positive that everything will work out eventually.

Treating myself with Mushroom pizza and yoghurt. Girl, I promise I will burn all these calories tomorrow.

Waiting for my breakthrough.

Dreaming of brighter days.

Enjoying this stage in my life.

Learning to be disciplined with money .

Hoping that these little changes will be part of my lifestyle.

Embracing life .

Noticing how calm and collected I have been lately.

Watching seven seconds. I could not put my laptop away until the whole movie was done. I am hoping there is a season 2 somewhere.

Pondering on ways to learn and grow in my career and personal life.

Needing a MENTOR.

Following every young Kenyan woman on YouTube who inspires people to live to their fullest potential. Any ideas?

Disliking the fact that I always have to dust my shoes when i get home! I’m I  the only one who doesn’t like cleaning shoes?

That’s it for now. Have you tried to take stock of your life? How was your experience?

Sending positive vibes and love.♥♥♥♥

Keep warm and stay safe.Miss Malika

What seems impossible today will one day become your warm up.

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Continue reading “TAKING STOCK JUNE 2018”

Featured

GRATEFUL

Grateful

It’s funny how ungrateful I can be sometimes (well, it’s not really funny), I am not happy today. I have been whining about how far my place is from work, how bad the road is, how tired I am of eating ugali and rice, blah blah blah… As I am walking across the  Jomo Kenyatta sports ground, I come across a guy. He may be in his early twenties, he has polythene bags with various food inside and its obvious he  has picked them from the garbage. He seemed happy as he sorts out the food and eats them slowly.” Madam, karibu tule’, he tells me as I approach him. I smile , say thank you and walk past him. I can’t help but feel guilty. This guy  is grateful that he had something to eat this morning. He probably starved yesterday and I am here whining !  I wish I had  a coin or food to help him out.

I feel sorry for myself for not being thankful to God for all the opportunities he has granted me. I never lack food, even when I’m broke, i have a roof over my head, I am able to pay my bills and also extend a helping hand once in a while. Today God showed me that it is not wise to keep on complaining.

I have decided to look at life differently. According to A.J. Jacobs, When you’re thanking God for every little you have – every meal, every time you wake up, every time you take a sip of water – you can’t help but be more thankful for life itself, for the unlikely and miraculous fact that you exist at all.

I remember a hymn I loved way back in high school,

‘”When upon life billows you are tempest-tossed, when you are discouraged thinking all is lost. count your many blessings name them one by one, and it will surprise you what the Lord has done…..”

I ask God to forgive me for not seeing what He has done for me. I thank him for the gift of Family, friends, colleagues, good neighbors, divine protection, good health and prosperity. Thank you God!

I pray that God gives me  a heart to always have other people’s interest at heart,  to be  able to help someone in need and use all I have to glorify the name of the Lord. I pray for a grateful heart to always thank God even during difficult times.

Gratitude

I struggled to get out of bed this morning. My alarm clock rang and I ignored it. I was still feeling sleepy and wasn’t ready to let go of the warmth and comfort of my bed. Father sun was already up in my bedroom. His rays hitting all corners of my room.

I remembered that I made a promise to myself and I owe it to myself to keep it. This is how a new behaviour is formed. By being consistent. So I drag my ass out of the bed, put on my long sleeve white shirt, blue track and purple sneekers then get out of the house. My plan is to walk and busk in the glorious rays of the sun. Today I manage to walk past the first hill. I saw the second hill. It is tarmarked and steep. There are no dogs. Only men running up and down the hill. So I join in. But I walk. I walk up and jog on my way down. Two laps and I am done. I begin jogging back home. Destructed by a beautiful house. I am curious 😉. I go ask if there is a vacant house and I am shown the house. It is beautiful but a little bit above my budget currently.

Today I have a grateful heart. I don’t take it for granted that I get to wake up and go out in nature, meet people, and enjoy serene environments.

That I have amazing parents who support me emotionally, spiritually, intellectually and sometimes financially.

That I am surrounded by people that truly want the best for me. They send me books,inform me of writing gigs, send clients my way,offer support in my hustles, send funny meme’s and just call to check up on me. People who grow me and support me in my endevours.

That I get to publish this blog twice in a week.👏👏👏💪 I feel so proud and grateful.

That I have a phone that enables me work digitally and grow my skillset.

The WhatsApp groups that grow me intellectually because of the information I acquire from souls I have never met in person. That one can get help or emotional support through WhatsApp groups. Social media connecting souls.

That I am alive and healthy. Without life and health I wouldn’t be able to enjoy life or pursue my dreams.

That I have a brilliant mind and a spirit full of hope. This hope makes me continue dreaming and working for brighter days. That when I fall,I wake up,dust myself and continue with the journey. Sometimes changing the route, wearing new shooes but always moving forward. Onwards and forward I go.

That I get to busk in the sun,listen to birds sing, watch children play,listen to the sound of the rain and flowing water and enjoy the magnificence that this world offers.

That I get to learn about new stuff every day.

That my inner voice today was so positive. That while I was walking it began to encourage me. I thought someone else was speaking to me. Except I was walking alone.

I am grateful for all these and so much more. Gratitude rises my vibration wavelength and that is what I need and want . To vibrate high.

Thank you🙏

What are you grateful for today? Share your thoughts in the comments section and remember to subscribe.

Sending love and light your way.

Unstuck

I made a quarantine timetable yesterday. After listening to Professor Kabaji speak on his YouTube channel about why most retirees die within five years of their retirement. He mentioned that most lacked a retirement plan and also pointed out that how you spend your free time, especially during this self isolation period,is a reflection of how you’ll spend your retirement.

I was a potato couch over the weekend. All I did was sleep and watch movies. 2 series. 10 episodes each. There was Four weddings and a funeral that got me so emotional and another movie I can’t remember it’s name. I didn’t step out at all. Even just to walk around the block or stretch. My movements were between my bedroom, sitting room, kitchen and washroom. To be honest. I wasn’t feeling myself and movies are my perfect get away when I don’t want to face myself. Instead,I chose to sulk and feel sorry for myself. Feeling sorry that I feel stuck in life. That I wasn’t living the life I thought I deserved to be living. So I decide to watch movies,sleep and record myself dancing when I am in a good mood. Except,I didn’t even dance last week. That’s how I know I am not okay. My body voluntarily moves to the sound of music. I can’t help it. I feel music and I feel myself shaking what my mama gave me. I sometimes seem to lack decorum when I hear good music.

Mr. Kabajis sentiments came with the realisation that I wasn’t doing much for myself to change my situation. That was a wake up call. I also listened to two of my favourite people on YouTube and they all seemed to speak the same language to me. It’s funny how I downloaded the videos a week ago and had been listening to the videos yet whatever they said hadn’t registered in my mind. Until yesterday night.

Synchroshakti and Isabel Palacios. Isabel spoke of how to get back into alignment and kartika of Synchroshakti spoke of three ways to manifest whatever I needed. These two ladies together with Prof spoke one language. It’s like the Universe was sending me a message. Giving me tips and encouragment. I called mum and told her that I felt stuck in life. I made her my therapist. This ended with lots of tears on my side. My mum encouraged me. Dad called later in the night. These two people don’t keep secrets from each other. Dad spoke to me too. Encouraging me to soldier on. And reminding me that I have him,mum and my siblings for support. I have never felt that blessed. Thank you Universe. With all the people encouraging me to soldier on,the least I can do is be there for myself.

I was woken up at 6:30 am, this morning by my alarm clock. My first thought was to create a quarantine routine for my YouTube channel. Like a day in quarantine. So I stretched my hands and picked up my blue Oppo phone than lied beside the bed inorder to record my sleepy self trying to get up. That’s what I see YouTubers do. I tried. 5 retakes and I knew it won’t work for me. My room is super dark. All I saw in those recordings were darkness and blackness. Not YouTube friendly.

Is it just me or do people practice those day routines? Ha! Ha! I give up on trying. Even after opening the window, my phone recorded blackness. So I got out of bed, washed my face ,pulled out some old knicker and a blue tight,a white branded t shirt and purple sneakers. My sneakers match my knickers. I am fashionable and good to go.

The first activity in my timetable is to work out. I am going out for my morning run.

I head to my living room, get my phone, keys ,open the door then head out.

I am still attempting to try this vlogging thing. I begin recording my feet as I walk. This video will be ace,I think. I get out of the apartment building and walk towards the main road. I see people wearing masks. I don’t have mine. So I go back to the house and collect my mask then head out again. I am determined to do a morning work out.

The plan is to jog for atleast 30 minutes around the block. I begin walking and I find myself taking a walk towards a different direction. Away from the block. As I continue to walk along this road full of stones,my eyes meet beautiful houses. The environment is beautiful. It reminds me of my village in Western Kenya. Quiet, green, crystal clear waters flowing along the road. I hear the sound of water flowing. I love it. Flowing water is therapeutic. It calms me down. I feel refreshed and rejuvenated. This water could be the reason I am writing this morning. People around this place take their health seriously. With their work out attires and in groups on two’s, they walk and jog. Most look like teenagers and early twenty something’s. I could be wrong. Others look like couples. Couples who run together stay together. They all look youthful and vibrant.

I get to the tarmac road and this is where all the magic begins. For a person who once felt so self conscious when running, jogging along this tarmac feels easier as most people who use this road are runners. It feels like home to me. Except I fear running near moving vehicles. You can never tell with these Nairobi Matatus and some wreckless Nairobi drivers. When I jog along this road,I feel like a wannabe fitness guru. I envision myself with killer abs, a round butt,tiny waist and toned arms. This could happen, if only I got to be consistent and stopped eating Chapo or Maandazi every morning.

I see men,women and teenagers. Some walking but most running. Kenyans here take their health seriously. I begin to jog. One step forward. I marvel at the quiet and tranquility that I am experiencing. My mind constantly wandering and a Harmonise song constantly ringing in my mind. I am in awe of the scenery of this place. A green expanse of land. Well manicured loans. Trees. Hills and valleys. Streams flowing through the valleys. Beautiful houses. Clean environment. I see posters of vacant houses. I would love to live in such a place. Quiet,clean,green,full of nature,running tracks, beautiful houses and very few people on the roads.

As I continue jogging , an idea strikes my mind. There is a hill ahead. If I could run up the hill and back I would be done for the day. So I ran towards the hill. Except there is a dog barking up the hill and they are not my favourite animals. Dogs terrorised my childhood. They always chased after me. Dogs and Kulukulus. What’s a Kulukulu in English? This dog brought back memories of how I loathed passing through a certain short cut because our neighbors had dog’s that were not friendly. In my father’s compound there is a dog. There was one named Rex that was named after a movie called Rex where the character Rex, was a dog. I especially don’t like brown and black dog’s. Those ones look like they can eat a person. And that’s how my plan to run up the hill flopped. So I decided to run back home. I had been running for a few minutes and I am proud of myself. That I dared to wake up and keep a promise I made to myself. So I pat myself on the back and wear a huge smile on my face. One can’t see my smile because I am wearing a mask. Only deep people will see a smile through my eyes. But you can see me breathe from the way my mask moves inwards and outwards. My mouth is wide open even with my mask on. I can’t breathe properly with it on and I am panting from running. With every inhale, the mask moves inwards,and with every exhale,it is pushed out.

One thing I love about this situation we are in as a country is I get to see beautiful faces. Okay. Handsome men. These sons of Eve look good,and fit. It would be amazing to have friends who care about their health and live around this side of town.

I am grateful that I get to enjoy this beautiful nature and spend my morning jogging while marveling at nature’s beauty. I get to see mother earth wake up. Grand father sun is also risen. Today he is a round white ball. Occasionally hiding behind the clouds.

I am on my last stretch home. I take a short cut. I meet a woman wearing an orange mask. This one must have been a donated mask as it has a Mheshimiwas name. I manage to read a Hon. For honourable so I don’t get a full name. It’s orange so I can tell which party Mheshimiwa is from. I want to go back and ask the stranger to allow me read the names printed on her mask. But I shrug at that thought and keep walking. And wonder.

A Mheshimiwa somewhere has his name on people’s mouths. Literally. Every time they( wananchi) have their faces covered with his masks, we get to see his name and acknowledge that he did a good deed. He must be proud of himself. I am also proud of myself. So that makes two of us.

I am home finally. One last challenge. Run through the stairs to the fifth floor, get to the roof top and try to catch a glimpse of the sun. I did all that except sun gaze. Sun was covered in clouds. From the roof top,the earth looks so round.

I walk down the stairs,back to my house,straight to my bedroom and to my notebooks. I feel inspired to write all these down.

It is an amazing day. All the Universe’s power lies within me. I am a co creator of my own life. So I am creating a Universe of magnificence. Birds are in agreement. They chirp to every thought I put down on paper. That’s a sign that all I well.

Change is so scary and painful but it is also necessary for getting unstuck. I feel unstuck. Grand Rising.

THE MARRIAGE QUESTION

I have my own idea about how marriage should be or rather how my marriage will be. I am not married, yet. We’ll get there. If I have to marry or get married, It will be with an amazing man. A man god. I do not know who he is, yet.

Now, my idea of marriage was shaped by what I saw with my parents( the good, bad and ugly),the society in which I lived and from soap operas. My perception has changed over time, all thanks to re parenting myself, identifying my big rocks in life and life coaching. Before then, I was a mess. Unhealed,insecure and a shape shifter. Changing who I was to fit the needs of those who showed interest in me. Then I started yearning for more. I have a lot of reservations with the way some people choose to parent their kids, but I always want to understand why people marry, get married, choose the kind of spouse they do and why they parent the way they do.

There are ladies who’s marriages I admire. Because I feel they thrive, get to be their authentic selves, pursue their life goals and stay fulfilled. I have Sheme in mind when I write about this. Sheme isn’t her real name. The name Sheme reminds me of a character in my childhood. I thought Sheme was her real name until much later when I learnt that Sheme was short for Shemeji. She would be physically abused by her husband as everyone watched. I remember her running to my parents house for safety in one of those domestic fights. The Sheme in my story is the complete opposite.

c/o google pexels

I have known Sheme for over a decade. We met in form one in high school and immediately struck a friendship. Her passion is imparting knowledge to young souls, preparing delicious meals, home making and drinking some wine. Every one of my girls loves some wine. I wouldn’t claim to love anything alcoholic. I indulge once in a while.

We sat down for a chit chat to discuss marriage. From one married fellow to another unmarried one. The ideas below are entirely hers and do not portray my thoughts. We are alike and different in so many ways. So here goes our discussion;

“On a bright sunny day, Konori called me asking me to visit him in his hardware. Konori is my first cousin. We grew up as siblings. He doesn’t take no for an answer. He can be very persuasive. So, after lots of cajoling, I accept to go visit him. On arrival to his shop, my eyes meet a well built, balanced weight, good looking, handsome man with broad shoulders. His eyes were so sharp I felt they looked through my fragile soul. I was struck. His humility drew me closer to him. That was love at first sight. The rest as they say is history. My love story with Obongita began.

There was this time I was planning to break up with my Obongita when we were dating. I had been suspecting him of cheating and I needed to find solid proof before I ended things with him. I made a surprise visit to his house in bid to find proof. It turns out the lady I was suspecting him with was his cousin. That’s how I ended up staying with him up to date. Ha! ha! We solemnized our marriage a few years ago.

My thoughts on marriage haven’t changed. I believe in starting with someone from scratch. I love when we grow together as this gives me confidence in the institution. I believe this also earns me respect in the union and any sober person will not wish it way. My, ladies, marry sober people!

I have changed for the better ever since I got married. I enjoy freedom in my union as I have a spouse who is secure within himself and isn’t domineering. I still go out to hang out with friends till dawn. I also realize that I am not as introverted as before.

Other than my hanging out,I am still a traditional wife. I believe in the traditional roles of a woman/wife. It comes out naturally for me. Maybe because this was normalized in my childhood. But I do enjoy keeping my house clean, cooking, and taking care of my kids. I however appreciate help. I have a live in help that makes my life easier so I get to concentrate on other things. My husband also plays a key role in matters finance. I sometimes chip in to help ease the burden. My husband provides and protects.

Now, infidelity is a deal breaker for me. Things never get back to normal after you discover that your significant other has been unfaithful. Trust is lost and resentment kicks in. Your heart gets shuttered to pieces and self doubt creeps in. I wouldn’t want to have all these negative energies in my marriage. I am the jealous type and I can’t fathom what would lead my spouse to cheat. I just can’t!

You ask on importance of spending time alone. I never thought much about it until I had kids. I have come to learn that it is very necessary to have my alone time. I try to schedule time to spend on my own and this leaves me feeling rejuvenated and full of positive energy. Parenting can be draining especially with an infant that requires your constant attention. My parenting journey with my second child was a bumpy one at first, spending time alone helped me to cope and be a better parent to my little element. I wish that this Corona dies so that I can spend time outside the walls of my house. Maybe get a spa treatment, lunch date or do something exciting. Alone.

My life goal is to be comfortable and be able to help a person in need. I also feel fulfilled as a person and wouldn’t change a thing. I would probably marry my Obongita in another life. He gets me so well.

Marriage is beautiful for me. I thrive.”

Thank you Sheme for sharing your insights with me. Now, any single ladies in my timeline? What would your ideal marriage be like? If married, how is your outlook on marriage? Are you happy,fulfilled? Why and why not?

Please share your thoughts here.

Sending love and light your way.

Home Skin Care Remedies

Every woman dreams of a flawless skin. Actually, every human dreams of flawless skin. Many cosmetic companies have taken advantage of this to produce a variety of skin care products. Some skin care products cost an arm and a leg. Others produce sub standard products which contain harmful chemicals that do more harm than good to the skin.

Now, some people excuse lack of a good skin care product to bad skin but I am here to help you achieve your flawless skin with ingredients you can find in your pantry.

I am not a skin expert. These are remedies that work for me. You may suggest ingredients that have worked for you so that I may try it out.

Raw Tomatoes

Raw tomatoes work well as a deep skin cleanser. Exfoliation removes dead skin cells which in turn helps improve the appearance of your skin. I usually apply it directly on skin. You can mash it, add sugar then scrub your skin and face. You can also make a face mask from it to get a clear face. Tomato may be sensitive to some skin.

Maize flour

This is my current favorite. I learnt about this in my life coaching group. Body scrubbing using maize flour is therapeutic for me. Mix maize flour with honey, turmeric or sugar. Add water for paste. Take a shower. Take a sit. Begin applying the paste on your body. Scrub gently through your entire body. Scrub areas between your thighs and darker areas more. Rinse your self with warm water. Apply oil to your body.

You can basically create a body scrub from fruit skin,honey,tumeric,maize flour,sugar or salt.

Maize flour,honey mixed with water to make body scrub. The results were amazing.

Tumeric

Tumeric contains anti inflammatory and antioxidant properties. try tumeric mask by mixing tumeric with honey and apply on your face. Allow it to sit on your face for about 15 minutes then wash off with water.

Tumeric mask reduces acne scarring and gives you a natural glow.

Drink lots of water as water flushes out toxic from your body. This in turn gives you a healthy and glowing skin.

Try to avoid stress and get enough sleep.

I also advice that you get dermartologically tested if you have issues with your skin. Your dermatologist will be able to identify where your issues come from.

What skin care remedy works for you at home?

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